I breathe out noisily to gain Hugo’s undivided attention. When I have it, I say, “Alright. . . I’ll sleep with him.”
Hugo waits, knowing there is more.
He’s right. “On the same day you go back to Rochdale to face your biggest heartache head on.”
Hugo sighs loudly. “That’s different—”
“No, it’s not,” I shriek, shaking my head. “It doesn’t matter if it is two hours or two years, time isn’t a factor when it comes to love. Sometimes, the faster they are, the more vicious they burn.”
“Regan,” Hugo stops, exhales, then starts again, “you love him?” His question is so quiet, I barely hear it.
It’s a pity my heart refuses to ignore the pain fracturing it. “No. I lovedwho I thought he was.That’sdifferent.”
A stretch of silence passes between us. It’s more awkward than the seconds I considered sending him a nude pic to avoid this confrontation. Hugo annoys the shit out of me, which isn’t hard considering I find the Dalai Lama annoying, but I hate that I’m letting Alex do this to me. He has no right to influence arguments with a man I am or am not friends with. Just like he has no right to place the demise of our relationship on Isaac’s shoulders. That solely resides on him and his fucked up acting skills.And perhaps me and the time I stupidly threw Isaac under the bus with me—not once, but twice.
Hugo ends the silence by suggesting, “Let me run this by Hunter before you say anything to Isaac.”
I shake my head. “No. I’ve held on to this information for way too long. It’s time for me to come clean on. Furthermore, this is my mistake, so it’s my responsibility to fix it.”
Hugo makes apfftnoise. “That’s not the way things work. We’re a team, Regan. All of us. When one does wrong, we all do wrong. Furthermore. . .” I smile at how he’s mimicking my voice. “. . .from what you’re saying, he had a tail on Isaac months before you bumped heads. For all you know, Isaac may already be aware that he’s being watched. You know how pedantic he is. Nothing slips by him.”
I halfheartedly shrug. “Hunter did mention something a few months ago about switching up our servers to ensure they couldn’t be infiltrated.”
“Exactly. You’re sitting all the way over there in bum-fuck Texas, twisted up in knots about something Isaac may already be aware of. Give me an hour; if he doesn’t know anything, you’re free to spill your guts. If he’s aware, keep doing what you’ve been doing the past five months. Have his back as he’s always had ours.”
Some may say I’m a coward for agreeing with Hugo’s suggestion, but I’d rather be a coward than an idiot.
Nine
Alex
“There has to be something we’re missing.”
I throw the documents Brandon handed me on my desk before spinning around to look out my office window. Yes, I actually have an office with a window that faces more than an alley. Although HQ is still in the same building it was when Theresa helmed the operation, the location, equipment, and agents are the best money can buy.
We have the entire top floor of a building that leases for over thirty thousand a month. Every computer in my vicinity has the most advanced software known to man; my team has doubled in size the past four months, and my salary went from mid-range five figures to nearly six figures a year, yet, I’ve not found a single shred of evidence that will have Isaac doing hard time.
Not. Fucking. One.
“It’s impossible. No businessman keeps their hands this clean. Dig deeper, burrow out his fucking root canals if you have to, but get me what I need!”
Brandon scurries out of my office like he does every time I lose my temper. My crew thought I was a hard-ass when I walked into the office with an air of authority and the determination of a fox months ago. They had no idea. As weeks shifted to months, the larger the angry pit in my stomach grew.
In a month, I stopped recognizing the man reflecting back at me in the mirror.
By two months, I stopped looking in the mirror because I hated the weasel of a man staring back at me.
My third month was tied up with bureaucratic shit every interim leader strives their hardest to avoid.
Regrettably, I had to attend a conference in San Francisco last week. I had no choice. I either represented my team, or they’d shut my operation down. Some good did come from their determination, though. I rerouted my flights so I traveled via Washington DC instead of New York.
I couldn’t believe how much Addison had grown in four months. Even Isla was more welcoming to my weekend visit than she had been during my five-month stint in the den of her family home.
It was during my two-night stay that Kristin suggested I look outside the box to bring Isaac to justice. Although I never discuss work with anyone out of the Bureau, her suggestions were plausible enough to deserve a second look. What Theresa did to Regan and me was wrong and immoral, but done right, with the agent aware they’re being used in a ruse, it could work.
Isaac doesn’t let anyone in. He guards his heart even more carefully than he does his empire. From experience, I know it only takes one woman to unravel everything you’ve ever known. He’s a red-blooded man who treats women like commodities, meaning the chances of Kristin’s suggestion working is unlikely, but I’ve grown so desperate, I’m willing to try anything. I want Isaac to pay for the wrongs he’s done, then maybe, just maybe, the pain still charring my heart to ash will weaken.
It’s been seven months since Regan used Isaac’s credit card to remove me from her life. Seven months of wondering what could have been if she had picked me over him. Seven months of wondering if our baby would have had her green eyes or my blue. Seven months of striving to ignore the embittering anger filling the hole where my heart once lived.
