I suck in breaths like I’m drowning when Regan places her thumb onto the security panel to call the elevator to their floor. She nibbles on Isaac’s cropped beard and neck before reacquainting their mouths, and what do I do? I watch and I stare, but I don’t move a fucking inch. I’m too gutted to do anything. I’m dead. Wholly fucking broken.
A train wreck of emotions hammers into me the instant the elevator doors snap shut with Regan and Isaac inside. I’m angry and frustrated, but most of all, I’m heartbroken. Even after all this time, I trusted her, and what do I get for it? This.Him.
He ruins fucking everything!
Incapable of holding my anger for a second longer, I lift the keyboard I am standing in front of and toss it across the room. My throw is so strong, the cord connecting it to the monitor snaps before darting across my face. The sting of the wires bouncing across my skin isn’t registered by my body. Just like that night in the field all those years ago, I’m too angry to feel anything.
I continue trashing the surveillance van like I’m the Hulkon a rampage. Computer monitors, movement sheets, and the food Reid left in case I got hungry in the middle of the night dart in all directions.
Twelve months ago, I would have been ashamed of the man I am behaving like, but right here, right fucking now, I don’t give a shit. Take everything from me.
No, scrap that. I’ll give it to you, because tonight proves what I’ve always known: hard work doesn’t mean shit. I’ve given this job everything I have, every piece of me, and what do I get in return for my effort?
Nothing.
Not a single fucking thing.
No glory.
No girl.
Nothing.
I even lost my best friend.
As I suck in ragged breaths, I scan the area I just destroyed during a lapse in judgment. I’m not surprised I’ve finally succumbed to the anger that’s been eating me alive the past twelve months. I’m only half the man I used to be, and on days like today, I’m not even that.
While running my fingers through my sweaty hair, I search for my gun, wallet, and keys on the floor. I right some of the computer equipment during the process, but it’s far from looking how it once did.
Deciding I’ll fix it in the morning, I push the chairs under the only piece of equipment still together before exiting the van. If I had a few more minutes, I’m fairly certain even the stainless steel desk wouldn’t have survived my wrath. That’s how I know it’s time to call it a night. I’m filled with so much anger, I don’t trust myself.
I’ve always believed you pick which side of the law to stand on. But now I’m torn. I don’t only want to see Isaac behind bars for eternity, I want to kill him as slowly and as painfully as Regan’s betrayal is gutting me.
The chance of violence doubles when I exit the van. Regan is standing at the foot of the curb. Her hands are spread across her cocked hips, and her eyes are narrowed, but it is her kiss-swollen lips I notice more than anything.
“I knew it was you.”
Twenty-Seven
Regan
Alex chuckles the laugh of a madman. “Is that why you did it, because you knew I was watching?”
The sneer of his words has me recoiling, but not in shock. When my lips first brushed against Isaac’s, I predicted Alex’s anger because it was the first emotion that smacked into me when the hairs on my nape prickled.
I’ve been suspicious of the surveillance van on my street all day, but I was giving Alex the benefit of the doubt. I was certain our twelve months of absence would have clued him in that I hate being spied on.
Clearly, I’m not the only one who’s failed to grow smarter the past year.
Alex is just as stupid as me.
The scent of a hot, virile man changes some of my anger into lust when Alex moves closer to me. He’s sweating profusely, making my sanity even more reckless. This isn’t good. This will not end well. I just kissed a man whose smirk alone makes women come, and what did I feel? Nothing. Not a single fucking thing. But one sniff of Alex’s sweaty skin, and I’m seconds from falling to my knees and begging for his scraps.
What the fuck?I came down here to confront him, not organize a hook up.
Alex’s next words thin my lust with anger. “Do you feel good, Regan? Did you enjoy rubbing it in my face, ensuring I didn’t miss any of the details?”
I attempt to talk, to tell him not to be ridiculous, but his threat stops me. “I swear to god, if you defend him, I’ll fucking gut him just like your betrayal gutted me.”
