Leaning forward, I try with all my might to pull out of Alex’s grip. With our bodies slicked with sweat, my wrist falls from his hold with only the slightest ache. Just before my fingers weave through the damp hairs curling around his ear, he pulls my hand away.
“Let me touch you,” I beg with desperation dangling on my vocal cords.
“No.”
He only says one word, but it’s the words he doesn’t speak that I hear the loudest. He’s not granting my body’s wish to climax. He’s punishing it for kissing Isaac, for breaking his trust.
This isn’t a beg for forgiveness fuck. It’s a farewell one.
“How can you preach morality when all youeverdo is lie?”
My veins thicken when his eyes lock with mine. The fury narrowing them should blacken my blood with hate, but it has the opposite effect on my fucked up body, giving it the final push my orgasm needs to finally reach fruition.
I still as a ruckus of devastation pinches the air from my lungs. My orgasm rips through me, owning my body as surely as Alex owns my heart. My insides explode as I let go, surrendering to its power with nothing but violent shakes and a breathless moan.
Although my climax is wondrous, it doesn’t save me from the cruelty of Alex’s words. “That’s where I went wrong, wasn’t it? You didn’t want a man who would stand at your side, supporting you as if you were his equal. You wanted an alpha. A dominant male who fed your ego like he did your bank balance. I thought you were better than that, Regan. I thought you saw through the glitter and shine to see the real person hiding beneath it.”
My eyes stray to his, praying my climax will hide the devastation in them. “I do—”
“No, you fucking don’t! You see money. Popularity. Anything you want to see to excuse you from cleaning up the carnage you cause! You trample people, not caring how they’re left after you destroy them. First Luca. Now me.”
I couldn’t be more shocked if he slapped me in the face. I try to retaliate, to ignore the hunger in his eyes mixing with hate, but I’m truly lost for a reply, equally sickened and mad.
Needing to leave before he spots my tears, I dig my feet into his ass for the second time. A broken keyboard digs into me when I drag my back along the van to get away from him, but I’ll endure the pain, suffer the torment.I always do.
Since Alex’s cock is as thick and as angry as his eyes, it takes a mighty effort to dismount him. When I do, my hands are the next thing I free. Moisture burns my eyes when I glance down at the angry red welts circling my wrists. The last time I wore his marks, it was a beautiful, lust-filled exchange. Tonight’s wasn’t close to that.
After standing, I yank my panties and jeans up my legs. The amount of wetness glistening on my thighs makes me even angrier. He used my attraction to him to exact his revenge, then he threw a whole heap of hurtful words into the mix.What man does that?
“How dare you.” I try to think of something more appropriate to say, but I’m honestly lost. I understand he’s angry; he just witnessed me kissing a man he believes I cheated on him with, but still, this? I didn’t use Luca; I loved him. . . just as I did Alex.
When I say that to Alex, he takes a step back, stunned. “You loved me?”
“Yes!” I exhale three times to calm the fury burning my veins before adding on, “You think you were the only one betrayed here, but my god. . . when I discovered what you had done, I never felt more stupid. You stole information that didn’t belong to you and used it against me.”
His chest thrusts, his anger overtaking his hope. “No, I didn’t—”
I continue talking as if he never did. “Then when I tried to give you the benefit of the doubt, I paid for my stupidity not even eight hours later.”
“By sleeping with a man you swore you had no interest in!”
I glare at Alex, ensuring he can see the hurt, anger, and disappointment in my eyes. “I never slept with Isaac. I don’t know him like that.”
The pain, anger, and sadness I felt when Luca died crash into me all over again, and in no time at all, I’m back to the scared, panicked nineteen-year-old girl I once was.
“The only thing I ever did wrong was trust you.” My comment is directed at Alex, but it is for both him and Luca.
“I saw you kiss him, Regan.” Alex’s tone changes, becoming less stern. “What are you saying? That it didn’t happen? That I imagined something I saw with my own two eyes? I’m not a fucking idiot.”
The anger he’s attempting to control rolls back in when I reply, “Yeah, you are. You just lost the best thing that could have ever happened to you because you’re too stupid to step back and assess things properly.” The panic twisting his features makes my next sentence the hardest of them all to say, “You’re so fucking stubborn, Alex, you can’t see what is staring you in the face.”
My accusation was supposed to disclose the reason I kissed Isaac, but the sentiment in the air changed it. I’m talking about me, and how fiercely I could have loved and protected him if he hadn’t done me wrong.
“Don’t,” I beg when Alex takes a step closer to me, as if the truth is finally smacking into him. “What I said to you last year was wrong. I should have never done it, but I’m not the only one at fault here. You’re just as much to blame for our downfall as me.”
Some of the heaviness on my chest lightens when Alex dips his chin in agreement. It barely makes an indent in the frustration clouding our conversation, but it’s better than him continuing with the inane stubbornness he’s shown the past twelve months.
With a smile revealing I appreciate his effort, I make my way to the partially cracked open van door. I make it halfway out before Alex calls my name. He doesn’t call me Regan like he did during our exchange; he’s reverted back to my infamous nickname, although that’s not the sole reason my heart is being brutally gnawed. It’s the words following my name causing my stuttering response: “I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.”
