Hoping to do a better job of explaining myself, I say, “Every male agent in the vicinity kept mentioning a hot new rookie agent who was seeking a placement. I was shocked when I discovered it was the same agent I denied a transfer request from during my first week in the Ravenshoe office as the superior officer.”
My eyes drift to Isabelle. “I wanted to see for myself if you lived up to the hype. I was also desperate to force Isaac to make a mistake, so I used any tactic I could find. I heard from a very reliable source that a beautiful lady was his eternal weakness.”
“A beautifulblondelady,” sneers Regan. “And the person you got that information from knew you were squeezing them for confidential facts. That is why she led you down the garden path.”
Isabelle’s eyes bounce between Regan and me when we undertake an intense stare down. I peer at Regan, begging for her to see the truth in my eyes.I fucked up. I’m sorry, but I’m here now trying to make it right. Doesn’t that give me some credit?
Not hearing the words I’m unable to speak, Regan sneers, “Either tell me what information you have that will assist my client, or get the hellout of my house.”
I watch her closely, praying the tears looming in her eyes don’t fall, because every one she sheds will add more cuts into my already gushing heart. When her tears remain at bay, I trail my index finger across my brow to remove a layer of sweat before digging my hand into my leather satchel.
“It took a bit of convincing, but Brandon supplied me with the serial numbers from the tracking devices stored on your phone.”
It was more than a bit of convincing, but allowing him access to Isabelle’s uncle’s old files was worth it. Grayson’s crew hit the motherlode with what they uncovered, and although I don’t see it helping my relationship with Regan, it will at least fix some of the mistakes I made with Isabelle the prior six months.
Anger can’t excuse my appalling behavior the past twelve months, but grief is easily forgiven. Those last words Dane spoke to me were true. His injury did eat me alive; then, upon his death, grief and revenge stole the last part of the man I once was. I mistreated my crew, my family, and my girl all because I acted on the black tar in my heart instead of working out a way to rid myself of it.
You can be assured I won’t make the same mistake twice.
“After searching through many hidden channels, I discovered that the devices were placed in your phone by the FBI.”
Isabelle’s eyes snap to mine in an instant. I’ll give credit where credit is due. She has the angry snarl down pat.
“But not by my department,” I clarify. “It was the same person who initially requested your transfer to Ravenshoe.”
She glances my way for several seconds before her wide-with-distrust eyes lower to scan the document I’m holding. I can tell the exact moment she recognizes the signature scribbled across the bottom as she takes in a sharp breath.
Regan’s response is nowhere near as pleasant. “That bitch.” I feel more vulnerable than angry when she lifts and locks her eyes with me. “How could you let this happen to an agent on your team? I thought you said nothing like this would ever happen to a member of yourcrew. That you were more ethical and better than those before you. This shows you aren’t any better than your predecessor. You let Theresa slide in right under your nose and hinder your investigation from the very beginning.”
Everything she is shouting is true, but it doesn’t stop me from saying, “Regan. . . don’t. . . This isn’t a personal attack.”
When she abruptly stands from her seat, I expect my cheek to feel the sting of her slap for the second time this week. She surprises me by using words to deliver her anguish instead of violence. “No, it isn’t a personal attack.” She folds her arms in front of her chest. “But it was. Youusedme, all to climb the corporate ladder at the FBI, then you let this happen because you became a jealous green-eyed monster.”
I want to grab her shoulders and shake the shit out of her. I want to yell at her that I’m not guilty of what she continuously throws at me, but since those are the responses of a man without a heart, I accept her invisible slap with a deep swallow, knowing, just like me, she needs more than a few seconds to sort through the facts.
I glance up at Regan in hope when she says, “Thank you for supplying us with these documents.” My deep exhalation is quickly withdrawn when she adds on, “I'll be sure to pass on my commendations your tact to your superior officers.” She jerks her head to Hugo, who has been watching our charade with the eye of an eagle the past hour. “Hugo will show you the way out.”
My eyes dart between Hugo and Regan as I struggle to absorb the underlying message in her reply. She’s giving me clear signals that she doesn’t want our relationship exposed to her work colleague and client. That frustrates the shit out of me.
I try to let it go, to remind myself that we still have a long way to go before we can patch the damage we made, but my ego stops me. “I don’t need to be shown out. I already know my way.”
After gathering my leather satchel and jacket slung over the back of the chair, I head for the door. I only make it two paces before Isabelle’s gasp rings in my ears. With my emotions so caught up in trying to appease Regan, I forgot the real reason I came here this afternoon.
After a big breath, I spin around to face Isabelle. “I'm looking further into how this happened to you, Isabelle. You have my word this will be thoroughly investigated by my department.”
Although my pledge could mean nothing to her, Isabelle accepts it with a dignity I’ve come to admire the past month. “Thank you.”
I shift my eyes to Regan to issue her the same promise I just gave Isabelle, but this one is without words. Although her stance remains as strong as mine, her face as impassive, I know she hears the words I can’t speak because the smallest glimmer of hope dashes through her eyes before she can remove it.
The string tethering us together may have broken months ago, but the vibrations remain the same. They’re invisible to anyone but us, meaning we’re the only two people who can both see and hear them.
Today wasn’t the mammoth step I hoped to take, but it was one in the right direction.
Thirty
Regan
A woodsy smell overtakes the sugary palette I’m devouring like I won’t need to run six miles to burn off the nasty calories when Hugo saunters into my kitchen, his look more casual than the suit he dons while working.
