I don’t know how long I’ve been sniffling in my bed when I feel someone sliding under my sheets. Nick’s familiar scent keeps my panic at bay. It does nothing to weaken my erratic heart rate, though. Remaining quiet, he rolls me over until I'm facing him. His thumbs make quick work of the tears staining my cheeks before he pulls me in close to his chest. His warm breaths tickle my ear when he whispers to me that everything will be okay and that I have nothing to worry about.
After the tumultuous few months we’ve had, his words should roll like water off a duck’s back, but for some reason, they soothe me more than agitate me. He seems genuinely remorseful that I'm upset.
Over time, my devastation fades, and my breathing evens out before I eventually settle into a peaceful sleep.
The next morning, I wake up to a cold and empty bed.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Nick
When Christian asked Jenni if she had showered without him, it felt like my heart was ripped straight out of my fucking chest. I had traveled to New York wanting to see if Jenni was sleeping with Christian, and he confirmed my suspicions without me needing to ask a single question.
After Christian left, and Jenni stormed into her bedroom, I considered leaving right then and there. It was only when my eyes landed on my cotton boxer shorts was my plan foiled. No matter how frustrated I was, I couldn’t walk around New York City half-naked.
Just as I located my clothing in a dry-cleaning bag by the door, the silence in Jenni’s apartment amplified someone’s quiet sniffling. When I moved toward the noise, it became apparent Jenni was crying. It took me days to get the image of her crying at my dad’s house out of my head, so I couldn’t walk away knowing she was upset.
Her body stiffened when I slipped into her bed, but she didn’t voice a protest. My heart stopped beating when I saw the tears sliding down her cheeks. They were glistening in the moonlight, frustrating me even more than the thought of her with Christian.
Having her in my arms for that short period of time made me want her even more. I wanted to protect her and keep her safe. I didn’t want her to hurt anymore, and that was when I realized the one person she needed protecting from the most was me. She was carefree and happy in the photos I saw of her on Facebook, but the instant I was back in the picture, she was crying herself to sleep. She deserves better than I could ever offer her, so I made the decision to let her go in the hope she’d find happiness.
She whimpered when I slipped out of her bed, making my plan to walk away even harder. While taking in her strawberry blonde locks fanned across her pillow instead of my chest, I leaned down to press a kiss on her lips before reluctantly leaving her room.
Once I was dressed in my still-drenched clothes, I made my way to the airport where I planned to go home and forget about the girl who makes me wish I could break every one of my rules for her.
That night was a little over two months ago.
For the past nine weeks, I’ve tried hard to return to my regular schedule. The band continues to work in the studio Monday to Friday; we perform at Mavericks every Friday night, and I go on the prowl at dance clubs every weekend. To an outsider, my life appears normal. There’s just one small factor they’ve failed to see: I can’t get a little blonde firecracker out of my fucking head.
I'm spending my Saturday night at a dance club in Hopeton called A+. It’s become my regular haunt since I can no longer go to the Dungeon without thinking about Jenni. A+ is located in the basement of an old warehouse and has an underground dance vibe. The only lighting is the fluorescent bands partygoers wear around their bodies and the occasional flash of a strobe light choreographed with the music blaring from the speakers. When a song ends, the dance floor plunges into darkness until the next song starts.
I’ve just finished a beer in the bar in the foyer of the club. I’m about to go back to the dance floor when the hairs on my arms stand to attention. My eyes float across hundreds of partygoers as my date drags me back to the dance floor. Just as we’re about to break through the large black double doors, I spot the reason for my body’s odd response. Jenni is entering the club from the far end.
She’s wearing a tight, one-shoulder blue dress and black stilettos. Her hair has been cut since the last time I saw her, so it's hanging loosely just above her shoulders. The shorter style makes her locks appear curlier than they usually are. She looks sexy and sweet at the same time.
When she cranks her neck to her right and smiles her knockout smile, my dick twitches. My fucking god. I forgot how perfect her smile is.
“Come on,” whines my date when her attempts to drag me onto the dance floor are thwarted by my concrete-like feet.
I shrug out of her grasp so I can continue watching Jenni from afar. She must feel my intense gaze, because not even two seconds later, her eyes skim across the bar, like she’s seeking someone. When she looks straight at me and smiles, my heart leaps. Its crazy beat turns catastrophic when she motions for me to join her.
I turn to my date, eager to dismiss her. My eagerness has me stumbling upon my fatal error. Christian is in the process of weaving through the packed crowd on my left. He’s heading straight for Jenni, making me realize her smile wasn’t for me. It was for him.
Now I’m certain my heart is being ripped out of my chest.
Once Christian barges through the dense crowd, he wraps his arms around Jenni’s waist to twirl her around the room. Even over the deafening hum of the packed bar, I can hear her giggles. You’d think witnessing their connection firsthand would give me enough incentive to finally let her go—for real this time—but I fucking can’t. My body yearns for her. I crave her like a drug addict craves crack, like a surfer craves his next wave, and like an adrenaline junkie craves his next thrill.
She's my thrill, my addiction, the one thing I can’t control.
She’s my rule breaker, and the main source of my confusion.
She’s my girl.
I dismiss my dance partner so I can continue to stalk Jenni from afar. The whole gang is at the club tonight. I spotted Emily and Noah moving toward the dance floor earlier.So much for Noah’s stance on not dancing.Slater and Marcus are at the bar with Nicole and Jenni, and Christian returned to his friends not long after he spun Jenni around the room. His quick departure gave me a little bit of hope that they aren’t a couple.
“Another one.” I tap the rim of my empty scotch glass, signaling to the bartender that I’m empty.
He has just refilled my glass when Jenni and Slater make their way to the doors that lead to the dance floor. Just before she disappears into the abyss, her brisk strides stop. Lifting her chin, she slings her head to the right before it drifts to the left. She appears to be looking for someone.
