That hurt more than anything.
If she was going to protect anyone, it should have been me.
After my eyes floated over her beautiful face, making sure every detail was memorized correctly, I left her apartment. With the elevator taking too long to arrive at her floor, I ran down the stairwell. Incapable of holding back my anger for a second longer, I unleashed it halfway down the stairs, throwing punch after punch against the concrete wall. I didn’t stop until my knuckles were bleeding and swollen and my hands were on the verge of never playing guitar again.
Still, their pain was nothing compared to the one ripping through my chest.
I raced through the foyer before taking a taxi to the closest bar. I didn’t just plan on drowning my sorrows; I was going to find the first girl I could and use her to help me forget the little blonde firecracker who tore my heart in two.
Now, four weeks later, I’m being forced to spend the weekend with the girl who brought me to my knees. Because of my outburst in the band meeting, Noah continually questioned me about who I was in love with. His grilling got so intense, I wanted to scream at him to leave me the fuck alone.
After two weeks, he finally did.
My volatile moods of late convinced him to give up on his endeavor to unearth every tidbit of information on my love life rather quickly, but he hasn’t budged on my request to skip the weekend getaway he and Emily have planned for the band this weekend. He said this is our last hurrah, a chance for us to have a bit of down time with those we care about the most before things get crazy. He wants the band’s bond to be the strongest it can be before we’re thrusted into the spotlight.
I more see it as a weekend that will crack my heart even more. It will shatter my soul while reminding me why I should have never fallen in love to begin with. I’ve given every pathetic excuse I can find to get out of this fucked-up situation, but Noah hasn’t bought any of them. He’s adamant I need to do this to prove to Slater and Marcus that I am as integral to the band as they are.
That’s the only reason I’m here. I want to prove I'm as worthy of fame as every other member of Rise Up, then perhaps, at the same time, I’ll show Jenni what she lost by fooling around on me.
Excluding earlier today, I haven’t seen or heard from Jenni since I left her apartment last month. She only called today because she heard my band’s song “Hollow” on the radio. Her voicemail said she was proud of me, and that she always knew Rise Up would achieve the success we were aiming for. I nearly crumbled and called her back when she failed to stifle a sob before disconnecting her call. I would have if anger wasn’t still burning me alive.
The fire in my gut inflames when I spot Jenni’s blue car pulling down the driveway Noah and I pulled into a few minutes ago. Happy to skip the awkward,let’s pretend we don’t know each otherstint we’ve done the past year and a half, I snag a case of beer out of my truck before bolting up the wooden stairs of the cabin Noah rented for the weekend.
I’ve just finished putting the case of warm beer in the fridge when Jenni rounds the corner. Even though she's lost a few pounds from her already petite frame, she's still gorgeous. After apologizing for interrupting me, she darts to the kitchen sink. Her hands rattle when she snags a glass from the rack to fill it with water. I stare at her when she gulps down the entire glass in three big swallows.
My anger is pushed aside when concern takes its place. She’s doesn’t look too good. “Are you okay?”
She wipes droplets of water off her quivering lips before glancing over her shoulder at me. After giving me a sad smile, she nods.
“Alright.” Hating the awkwardness teeming between us, I grab a bottle of warm beer out of the fridge and flee to the covered entertainment area near the infinity pool. Since the beer is hot, it tastes like shit, but since it's the only alcoholic drink I brought with me, it will have to do.
Not long later, Slater, Marcus, and Nicole arrive. I nearly fall out of my seat when Slater introduces me to a girl named Kylie. It isn’t the fact he brought a date for our weekend getaway that has me stumbling; it's the fact he called her his girlfriend. This is the first girlfriend he has had since Nikki. Unsurprisingly, trust has been an issue for him.
“Nice to meet you.” While accepting Kylie’s handshake, I give her my trademark smirk that usually makes the girls all flustered. I’m pleased she doesn’t even notice it. Her eyes are fixed on one man and one man only: Slater.
The same can’t be said for Jenni. She’s glaring at me, her stare murderous. She noticed the smile I gave Kylie, and she’s not happy about it. Her nose is screwed up like a rabbit, and her arms are folded in front of her heaving chest.
Welcome to my life, kiddo. Heartbreak and jealousy. It’s a cruel fucking world.
Jenni keeps her distance the rest of the afternoon. I don’t mind, because the longer my beers chill, the more I enjoy them. By the time we sit around the table to eat Noah’s half-burned burgers and hotdogs, I’m well on my way to being drunk. It does nothing to fill the hole in my chest, but it blurs the movie of Jenni and Christian kissing playing on repeat in my head.
I chug down my beer while trying to participate in the conversations around the table. For the most part, I have everyone fooled. Only I know how many times my eyes have flicked to Jenni. It’s way more than I’m comfortable admitting.
It’s not my fault. She’s acting odd. She loves food, yet she's hardly eaten anything. When we went out, she usually downed a bottle of red, but tonight she’s refused Kylie and Nicole’s numerous offers for a glass of wine. She’s paler than normal, and her eyes aren’t shining as brightly as usual. She’s acting so differently, anyone would swear it was her who had her heart broken—not me.
With my anger incapable of shutting down months of feelings, I pass Jenni my plate of fries. Any time we ate out, she devoured them before anything else.
“Thank you,” she whispers while accepting my plate.
I can’t help but smile when she demolishes the entire serving in under five minutes. Maybe she isn’t acting odd? Perhaps she’s just not a fan of Noah’s poor BBQing skills?
A short time later, I stop talking to Marcus when I notice Jenni hightailing it to the cabin. She's as white as a ghost, and her hand is clamped over her mouth. After scrubbing my hand along my chin, I excuse myself from the table and make my way inside. I find Jenni in the main bathroom, her back bending harshly as the fries splash into the toilet bowl. I switch on the bathroom light and the exhaust fan before ambling to the sink to wet a washcloth for her.
“I’m fine, just leave me,” she murmurs between heaves.
She may have ripped my heart out, but I can’t walk away while she's sick. I’m not a monster. After planting my ass on the side of the tub, I rub her back in a circular motion. I don’t pay any attention to the goosebumps rising on her skin. They could be from the cool air blowing in the open window, not my touch.
When she stops vomiting, I flush the toilet. “Is it still the same bug or a new one?”
