Even being genuinely unsure how I can explain what happened, I nod.
“Good girl. Now go with Rosa, she’ll show you the rooms you’re in charge of this week.”
Rosa, a lady with thick silver hair and a shadow of a mustache on her top lip, steps out from behind Mrs. Novak before gesturing for me to follow her. Since her presence guarantees I won’t be left alone with Achim, I quickly follow her into the Novak estate.
* * *
“Ma?” I question, my voice groggy since it’s almost two in the morning. I fell asleep not long after finishing my first shift. Since I was so determined to show Mrs. Novak I had the strength needed to be a chambermaid, I put in more hours than necessary.
It also meant I was never alone.
I only left the main residence when I was forced out, and even then, it was under protest. My parents hadn’t returned from town. They’d left hours earlier, and their absence is very unlike them.
A scratch impinges my throat when the face of the person entering the servants’ quarters registers as familiar. It’s Mr. Novak. He’s nicer than both his wife and son, but he never merges this deep into the grounds of his estate. He barely leaves his room.
“Kristina, honey, I need you to come to the main residence with me. There’s been an accident. The police are in attendance…”
* * *
Iwake up screaming, panting, and clawing at the arms circling me as the world drains from beneath my feet for the second time in my life. “You’re okay, K. You are safe.”
Because the nightmares of that morning were replaced by real-life ones not long after it, I haven’t dreamed about the night my parents were killed for years. They died when a truck driver lost his brakes going down a hill. He was pulling across the road to use the emergency stopping lane etched into the side of the mountain. Because he didn’t see my parents, he ran straight over them, killing them both on impact.
It took the authorities so long to notify their next of kin because they were trapped under the wreckage for hours. As if that wasn’t already confronting, I was given the horrifying news while standing across from Achim, who smiled like the end of my life was the beginning of his.
In a way, he was right. My life did end that morning. I wasn’t raped until four years later, but that’s only because Achim was so scared he’d get the help pregnant he wasn’t willing to risk penetration. That’s why he forced me to suck him off instead. It was his worry-free alternative.
That all changed when I gave my virginity to Trey.
Because I was no longer pure, and Achim had the solemn vow of his wife-to-be to prove it, he realized he could shunt unwanted pregnancies onto almost anyone. Who would second-guess anything he said? He’s a Novak. He has the blood of royalty.
Only Trey’s family blood was more regal, and look where that got him. His family legacy is dead, the whereabouts of his mother and brother are unknown. He has no one but me. A whore who wakes up in the middle of the night screaming. A woman so selfish the last thoughts she had of her parents was that she wanted to be better than them.
A woman so broken, she may never be fixed.
What was so bad about my parents’ life that I desired more? They had love, light, and me—the cancerous leech who destroys everything.
If I had remembered my place, I would have never gained Achim’s attention, and none of this would be happening. Trey’s mind wouldn’t have been poisoned, Achim wouldn’t have raped me, and I wouldn’t be so selfish, the desire to be cherished sees me placing my needs above anyone else’s. Trey has his own demons, yet, he’s here, soothing me while the nightmare of my past clings to my skin.
Achim was right. I am a whore. I sold half my soul for an orgasm, then surrendered the other half for a pair of shoes. I’m a terrible person, but that doesn’t mean the hate I have for Achim is underserving.
He didn’t punish me because I had sinned.
He punished me so Iwouldsin.
Then he had the perfect excuse to hurt me.
I fell straight into his trap. I hate myself for it, but I hate Achim even more than that.
“Nesnáším te, Achim,” I garble through the bile scorching my throat. “Nesnáším te.Nesnáším te. Nesnáším te,” I repeat again and again and again until my confession of hate pushes me into a blackness so fierce, I don’t think if I’ll ever come out.
Sixteen
Trey
My eyes float up from my balled fists to the door when a knock sounds through my ears. I haven’t slept since K woke up screaming. I could hardly understand a thing she said while digging her nails into my arm, fighting to get out of my hold, but one word rang louder than the rest—Achim.
That’s not a common, everyday name, especially in this part of the continent. It has me wondering exactly how long K has been stateside and how she got here. This isn’t an industry you choose to join. You’re either purchased, stolen, or kidnapped from another organization. Could that sanction have anything to do with the name she shouted in the midst of a terrifying nightmare?
