Then I’m anyone she needs me to be.
Once I’ve slipped my shirt over K’s head and pulled her hair out of the collar, I tug off my jeans, yank off my shirt, remove Dok’s iPod pod from K’s ear, then gather her in my arms. I don’t carry her like a groom does a bride over the threshold. I plaster her body to the front of me, gluing her to me as I plan to be glued to her until she fully emerges from the dark.
With the bathroom steamy, the muddy slop I dug out of Nero’s boots is highly noticeable when we step into the compact space. It doubles the faintness of the pulse in K’s neck in an instant, and has me hopeful she might leave the dark sooner than I’m hoping.
“Come on, Duchess,” I mutter as I step us into the shower stall. “You’re stronger than this. You fought Satan and won, so don’t let this beat you.” My arms tighten around K’s torso so fiercely I’m afraid I may have broken one of her ribs when her eyelids dip for the quickest second. It wasn’t a full blink, but it was noticeable. “Didn’t you want a war, Duchess? I brought you the war. We played the fucker at his own game and won, so you can come out of the dark now.”
Another blink.
It’s even longer than the first one.
“We could dye your dress in his blood. Parade his beheaded carcass through the streets of Prague.” I step her back until the lukewarm water pumping out of the showerhead flattens her curls. “We started a war without firing a single bullet, and we ended it the same way. His life wasn’t worth the price of a bullet, so we beheaded him instead. He’s dead now, Duchess. He’ll never hurt you again. I promise you that.”
This time I get two blinks and a single tear. It hasn’t fallen from her eye just yet. It’s clinging to mascara-coated lashes on the lower lid of her right eye.
She’s too brave to cry, too fucking strong. She is the most courageous woman I’ve ever met.
When I tell K that, her tear plops onto her cheek. I wipe it away in an instant, its worth inconsequential. She isn’t broken, she’s fighting to come back, to claw her way out of the darkness.
“Look up, K. It’s time to see the fireworks.” My heart thuds in my ears when I place the hand not holding her body hostage to mine under her chin so I can carefully crank her neck back. “I want to kiss you, K. I want to kiss you so fucking bad it hurts. But I won’t touch you without permission. No one willevertake away your rights again. I’ll kill any man stupid enough to try. I don’t care who he is.” After working my jaw side to side to weaken the fury of my tone, I say, “But that means I need your permission, K. I need you to come out of the dark and tell me this is what you want. I need to know you want this as much as me.”
When I stare into her eyes, waiting for the light of life to return, they do a lengthened blink. “It’s not enough, K. I need more. I’m far from a fucking saint, but I can be your light. I can protect you better than the dark.” After tugging her in so close, the material of her saturated shirt and my drenched boxer shorts become one, I say, “The dark won’t last forever. Even on the blackest nights, stars still shine through. Let me be that star for you, Duchess. Let me guide you out of the dark. Then I can kiss you as often asyouwant.” I bring my lips an inch from hers before murmuring, “I know it’s safe in the dark, but that isn’t living. You can’t exist if you’re locked up in your past. Let it go, K. Show them how strong you are. Fight for you andonlyyou…”
My words fade out when K proves she’s always been more brave than afraid. Her lips are on mine—only just—but it feels like the most intimate thing I’ve ever done.
A better man would stop at a peck kiss. I’ve told you before I’m not one of them.
She’s only just tiptoed out of the dark.
I want her fully emerged from it.
But if I do that, I could lose her forever.
Since that’s the last thing I want, I don’t act like the man I was raised to be, nor the one I’ve faked since I was freed from hell. I commence being the man I saw in K’s eyes when she peered up at me lifeless and lost.
I will be the man sheneedsme to be.
The thump of my heart in my ears doubles when I slowly notch my head back so I can peer into K’s eyes. She’s back, but her grip on reality is loose, proving I made the right choice.
After clearing away the hairs fallen in front of her eyes, I issue a promise I plan to keep even if it kills me. “While Achim played for the castle, we took down his whole fucking kingdom. I promise you, Duchess, your crown is next. It just won’t be pronged with jewels.”
Epilogue
Trey
Nine long months later…
Killing doesn’t faze me. I experienced all types of murders long before Nikolai found me shackled to a wall, naked and on the verge of death. I could end a life without the slightest increase in my heart rate and eat an almost rare steak only minutes later. My stomach didn’t twist, and my brow didn’t mist with sweat. I was the monster I was raised to be.
K changed me.
Don’t get me wrong. The man hanging from the second-story balcony of his home, bleeding and whimpering for his life won’t get any leniency from me. But women, in particular, beaten, sold, and raped women, they’re not on my list anymore. I’ll kill the men responsible for what happened to them. I’ll slit their throatsaftercutting off their cocks and feeding it to them, and I’ll torture the ones stupid enough tothinkthey can come between us.
That’s what’s happening here tonight. An errant, low-bottom-gangster wannabeethinkshe can play Nikolai and me as fools. My sidekick and I are determined to prove him wrong.
K isn’t responsible for a single nick on his body. From her vantage point in the foyer, she doesn’t even know his cock is hanging out of his trousers, ready to be removed. Her presence merely ensures the thudding of my pulse in my ears keeps my head in game mode and not on my past when torture and deprivation of liberty were above me.
Lester would have been dead an hour ago if it weren’t for K. This way, I’ll get the information I’m seekingandthe adrenaline high K loves feeding off after every raid.
