“Things aren’t like that between us, Daddy. He doesn’t look at me like that.”
He glares at me like he dropped me on my head too many times as a child before he thrusts his hand at the room we just vacated. “You’re blind if you can’t see that he looks at you like Uncle Reggie eyes ribs. He hasn’t stopped frothing from the mouth, and he’s not even had a nibble yet.” His pupils turn massive as he chokes on the spit his next question produces. “Has he?”
As I enter the kitchen, I roll my eyes, happy to use his inability to budget to shift the focus off Lennox and me. We’ve been accused many times over the past three years as being friends with benefits. I brush off the claims with a laugh, flattered anyone would think I could score someone as hot as Lennox. Lennox’s replies are nowhere near as reserved. He’s been in more than a dozen scuffles defending his honor. It bruises my ego in a way only a girl would understand, but Lennox has a way of smoothing things over with only a couple of words.
Within seconds, I’m convinced he’s defending me like he does the schoolyard bullies who didn’t leave their antics in high school, and I’m swooning over his protectiveness as if it’s perfectly natural to have improper thoughts about your best friend.
God, I’m delusional.
My friendship with Lennox isn’t perfect, but since the benefits far outweigh the occasional times I’ve wished we were more than friends, I pretend it is. It works for us, and one day I’ll find a Lennox-approved Prince Charming. He’ll just have to get through both my overprotective best friend and brooding father.
I yank a bottle of water out of the refrigerator with more force than needed when my father says, “Thisis exactly what I’m talking about, pumpkin. Look at your face.” He wiggles his index finger in front of my face. “It’s the same loved-up look you wore when Lennox pinned you to the ground to mark you with his scent. When he was helping toease your sunburn…” he air quotes his last three words like he still doesn’t believe Lennox’s claim his massage wasn’t foreplay, “… and earlier when he said he’d take the top bunk.” His face goes as red as a beetroot. “You don’t have a bunk bed! There are no bunks in your room!”
“He was joking. It’s what he does when he’s feeling overwhelmed. You are kind of scary… and it has nothing to do with how big you are.”
I don’t know whether to swoon or pout when he mutters under his breath, “I might have believed that if it wasn’t the line I used on your mother when she invited me to her room for the first time. And in case you’re wondering, I helped her with her sunscreen too.”
When the veins in his neck expose his heart is struggling not to go into coronary failure, I spread my hand across his heaving chest. “Then you havenothingto worry about. Lennox has been to my room hundreds of times the past three years, but today was the first time he commented on my single bed. And…” I delay with the hope it will make my lie sound more authentic, “… he helps me with my sunscreen every weekend so I don’t get burned to a crisp.” I wet my lips before repeating the mantra I said in my head a million times the past three years. “Furthermore, Lennox and I are friends. That’s all we willeverbe.”
My father scoffs at me. “If you believe that, pumpkin, why am I wasting my hard-earned money sending you to the most exclusive school in the country?”
“Because you’re a stubborn ass who wanted me to attend the same school as Mom?” When he fails to cite an objection to my highly accurate reply, I add, “If it’s too much, I can transfer to another—”
“No,” he replies before all my offer leaves my mouth. “Morrison has been good for you. I haven’t seen you this happy in years.”
Not wanting to admit part of my happiness is because of my friendship with Lennox, he bands his arms around my shoulders before pulling me in for a hug. My dad is huge. The top of my head only reaches his nipples, so you can imagine how safe and protected I feel when I’m in his arms. He wants to give me the world, and when I finish my studies and discover a cure for cancer, the bills he desperately wants me to leave on the backburner will be a thing of the past. I’ll take care of him as he did me when the love of his life passed away.
My mom died over thirteen years ago, but not once has my father introduced another woman into my life that entire time. It’s always been me, him, and a ton of grease monkeys. That’s why my clothing choices are a little boyish and why I had no clue three pumps wasn’t a standard inning even for a first-timer. My birds-and-the-bees talk was done during a toolbox meeting. Uncle Reggie held the breathing hose of a gas tank as if it was a vagina, and Uncle Ted wielded the wrench.
I was so scared after our talk, I refused to let the idea of sex enter my mind for another five years. I wasn’t even interested when I overheard the girls in the locker room raving about it. I’d probably still be a virgin if Paul hadn’t convinced me I would be treated like a troll under a bridge at Morrison if I attended as a virgin. He promised he’d be gentle and that he would make me fall in love with sex.
He was gentle, but the last half of his promise left a lot to be desired. It hurt, I bled, and when my dress absorbed the stain, I told my father I had gotten my period in the middle of prom.
Even with me menstruating the prior four years, my lie instigated a second toolbox meeting. It scarred me just as much as the first one did. I haven’t looked at fallopian tubes in the same manner ever since, and I have viewed them multiple times during my studies to become a doctor.
After squeezing my dad extra hard to relay my thanks for everything he’s done for me, I pull back before peering into his massive blue eyes. “You need to cash my checks.” When he attempts a rebuttal, I squash my finger to his mouth. “The money has already been wired into an account I don’t have access to, so you either use it or let the bank profit from my hard work. I have plenty to live off, and my salary at Books N Bites includes a food allowance. I don’t need it, but you do.”
“I don’t, pumpkin,” he denies. “I make plenty remodeling old bombs into showpieces for rich schmucks who have nothing better to spend their money on.”
“Which you only see one-third of since you put the rest toward my tuition.” As my eyes bounce between his, I confess, “I know how much Morrison costs. I learned all about your little fib when I requested a balance sheet so I could contribute to my education, and I only agreed to stay because you promised you’d let me help. Don’t break your promise, Dad. Mom would be so disappointed.” It’s low of me to bring my mom into our fight, but I know she is my father’s only weakness. “Promise?” I beg when he briefly bobs his chin. He hates giving in, but as I said previously, he’d do anything for my mother, dead or alive.
“I promise.” I stop exhaling in relief when he adds, “But now I need you to make one too.” My nod is reluctant but present, nonetheless. “When things between you and Lennox change—”
“That’s very unlikely.”
He squashes his finger to my lip like I did his earlier, shutting me up. “Whenthings change, I need you to remember sacrifices come from both sides of a relationship. Your momma didn’t make me give up anything, and despite what people say, she gave up just as much as me. Webothsacrificed because we knew, in the long run, it would be those sacrifices we’d treasure the most.” His eyes mist with tears when he murmurs, “We may have only had nine years, but we had the world in the palm of our hands. I want you to have the same, pumpkin.”
“I want that too,” I whisper, my focus finally on my private life instead of my potential career. “And I will get it. It might not be as lightning fast as you and Mom, but I will get there. I promise you that.”
I’m just hoping like hell Lennox will be a part of the picture.
4
Summer
Istop seeking signs of my hometown in the rearview mirror when I spot Lennox rummaging through my backpack in the corner of my eye. “What are you looking for?” Anyone would swear I stole his three-time championship trophy for the way he’s acting.
My brows furrow when he mumbles, “I’m trying to find out what’s got you grinning ear to ear.”
