I haven’t done a pregnancy test, but my rapidly growing stomach is all the proof I need to know I'm pregnant.
“My friend is four to five months pregnant, and she started bleeding today.” Nodding, he pulls his wallet out of his back pocket before removing his credit card. “That’s fine… Okay …thank you…bye,” he says before disconnecting the call.
After slotting his credit card back into his wallet, he shoves it and his phone into his pocket. “Dr. Morgan, a local obstetrician, scheduled you for an emergency appointment at 2 PM today. It’s been paid; you just need to show up. The reception said to drink lots of fluids before you arrive, something about needing to have a full bladder?”
Relief is my first thought, then panic settles in. “What about Noah? I don’t want to leave him.” I haven’t left the hospital since Noah was admitted over two months ago.
"I'll stay with him." Jacob clasps my hand in his. “You’ll never forgive yourself if there was something you could have done to save your baby and didn’t. Noah is fine. I won’t leave his side.”
He’s right. I’ll never forgive myself if I lose our baby.
“Okay.”
Jacob’s grin almost blinds me. “Come on, let’s see how his session today is going, then I’ll call a cab to take you to your appointment this afternoon.”
He stops heading for Noah’s room when I faintly whisper, “I… umm… have to… umm … get somelady things.”
The color drains from my face when Jacob's cheeks heat. He is as embarrassed as me.
“Okay. I'd offer to get them for you, but I wouldn’t have the faintest clue what to get.”
“I’d never ask you to do that. I just...” My words stop when a gush of liquid runs down my pant legs. Peering down, I spot a trail of red blood being absorbed by the light gray material of my pants.
As my wet eyes return to Jacob, I pant hard as I fight not to get sucked into the giant pit forming in the middle of my chest. The look on his face alone exposes he's noticed the trail of blood streaming down my thigh.
“It’s okay. You’ll be okay,” Jacob assures me while ushering me into the bathroom in Noah’s room. “I’ll be back in a few minutes, okay?”
He waits for me to nod before he sprints down the corridor we were just conversing in. While pacing the white tiled floor, I beg over and over again for our baby to be safe. After seeing the bright red blood running down my leg, it feels as if my pleas for mercy are too late, but I’d rather pray than give up.
I’ve almost worn a hole in the tiles by the time Jacob returns. “Em, can I come in?”
My legs shake as I pace to the door to unlock it for Jacob. His face is still as white as a ghost, and his pupils are massive.
“The pharmacist said you have to use these when you're pregnant,” he advises while handing me a packet of heavy flow sanitary pads.
“Thank you, Jake.”
He offers me a small smile before he closes the door to give me some privacy.
Only once I turn on the shower faucet do I realize I need a change of clothes before I can wash away my horrid start to the day. When I partially crack open the bathroom door to seek Jacob, I discover Noah’s room is empty. Eager to change my blood-soaked clothes, I tiptoe to my suitcase in the corner of the room. I keep my gaze on anything but Noah, aware if I look at him, I’ll lose the ability to hold back the sob that’s dying to break free. I unzip my suitcase and secure a fresh change of clothes before heading back to the bathroom.
I’m halfway there when a familiar female voice questions, “Is everything okay?” The worry on Dr. Miller’s face asks more than her words ever could.
When her worried eyes drop to the bloodstain in my pants, I blubber, "Everything is fine," before running into the bathroom and slamming the door behind me.
20
By the time I've showered and changed, Dr. Miller has finalized her physio session with Noah. "He did well today, Emily," she advises, her smile kind. "He's responding well to a technique I've been introducing the past two weeks."
I stroll to Noah’s bedside, hoping the hot water faded the tears marring my face. I’m confident I still look like a wreck, but I’m willing to fake it until I make it.
I jump out of my skin when an arm suddenly curls around my waist. After gathering my heart from the floor, I lift my eyes to my unexpected guest. Jacob’s eyes are brimming with silent apologies, but I’m shocked I can see them through the barrage of questions they’re hitting me with.
I give him a gentle nod, letting him know I'm okay. I don't want to say anything in front of Noah, as I don't want anything hindering his recovery.
Me losing our baby would do that.
After a gentle squeeze, announcing he will forever have my back, Jacob shifts his focus to Dr. Miller. “Show Emily what you showed me.”
