Everyone clapped as Paul and Joss kissed. I looked toward Cat, because Ihadto, and saw that she was wiping tears from her eyes. God, I wanted to wrap her in my arms, feel all of her body heat pressed to me, and share in this moment together. Our best friend had just gotten married. Instead, I caught Nathan’s eye as he pulled out a napkin, handed it to her, and then swung his arm across her shoulders.
Now that the ceremony was over, I needed to find the open bar.
Stat.
After all these years,I was definitely still in love with Cat. Was that how soulmates worked? No matter what, you’d always love them even if you couldn’t be with them? One thing I did know was that watching Cat in the arms of her boyfriend was a pain I’d never felt before.
It hurt worse than when she slammed the taxi door in my face.
It hurt worse than when I never heard her voice again.
It hurt worse than when I tried to replace her with so many others.
Seeing the one person you love loving someone else was like burning in a sea of hot lava. Basically, it was Hell.
“It’s weird huh?”
I glanced up to see Joss taking a seat next to me. “What is?”
“Having Cat here.”
If she only knew. “What do you mean?”
“I mean we haven’t seen in her so long. It’s just weird that she’s only a few feet from us. I really fucked things up between us all.”
I turned to her. “You fucked things up?”
“If I was still myself and hadn’t run away—”
“Nope.” I stood, reaching my hand out to her. “We are having none of that on your wedding day. It’s time to dance.”
She placed her hand in mine and stood. I led her to the dance floor, Bruno Mars singing aboutUptown Funk, and then we danced as though nothing was wrong in the world. At one point the many glances I sent Cat as she danced with Nathan actually landed with her staring back at me. Our gazes would lock, our bodies still moving to the beat of the music, both questioning where it all went wrong. I mean, I knew where it went wrong, but how did it stay wrong? How did I not fight for her? Prove to her that I wanted to give us a shot? I was young, dumb, and selfish.
“I’m gonna go find my husband,” Joss said as another song ended. “Gosh, that sounds so weird.”
“Get used to it, Jossie.”
She beamed, finally realizing that she was JoselynJackson. Then she was off, and I was left standing alone on the dance floor, the two love birds laughing as if they were mocking me.
I stalked toward Cat. “Mind if I steal you for a minute?” Oh, God. What was I doing? I had no plan. My emotions got the best of me, and before I knew it, my feet were moving, and my mouth was saying words I didn’t want it to say.
Cat looked at Nathan, and he said, “It’s okay. I’ll go grab us a few cocktails.”
He left, and Cat turned toward me. “Yes?”
“Walk with me.” I held out my hand for her to take.
She blinked and stared out my outreached hand. “Walk with you?”
“I just want to talk, Kitty Cat. It’s been a long time.”
Cat didn’t say anything for a few beats, and I thought she was going to tell me to fuck off. Instead, she said, “Okay.”
God, I wanted to tell her that I wanted to just love her. That our love was true. I felt as though we wasted so many years, and now here we were with this giant elephant sitting on my chest causing me not to breathe.
She followed me off the dance floor, not grabbing my hand. My heart stung, but I kept my composure. I wasn’t sure what I was expecting, but more or less hoped. To get away from everyone, I walked to the steps that led up to the second-floor patio. The music still blared, and I had this urge to get her alone, so I asked, “Want to see why there are steps to the roof?”
Cat turned to look at the other cement staircase and shrugged. “Sure.”
