“Everything okay with the case?”
She sat next to me. “Yeah. I mean, the devil is dead.”
I turned my head to face her. “But Bryce …”
“Nothing I can do about it now.”
I nodded, getting the feeling she couldn’t really talk about the case with me even though I was the victim. The night before, as the paramedics had checked me over, an Agent Reigles with the FBI took my statement. They said they’d let me know if they needed me again.
After I changed into the panties, jeans, and thin, purple sweater Joss had bought for me, I used her makeup to freshen up. It was the first time I’d looked in the mirror since everything happened. The night before I was too scared to look. Now, as I stared at myself, I only noticed a few bruises. The memories of how they got there kept playing on repeat, and I wanted to know when the nightmare would end.Ifit would ever end.
When Autumn arrived, she brought in two cups of coffee and a passion tea lemonade for herself. She smelled like warm vanilla sugar, and even though it had been a few days since I last saw her the day of Joss and Paul’s wedding, it looked as though her pregnant belly had grown tremendously. She was beautiful. I knew that she’d once been in an abusive relationship, the way she glowed told me that she was happy now. Even though our situations were different, I wanted to know how she got through it. I also wanted to ask Joss how she finally got through her ordeal too.
I wasn’t raped or beaten. I was just really, really, scared shitless. And, for the first time in my life, I’d heard gun shots that weren’t even five feet from me. I could still hear the pop of the gun as it was fired when I closed my eyes. I needed to know how to move forward because I’d heard horror stories about trauma and I didn’t want to live in pain every minute of every day. Especially not when I had Seth back in my life.
“Thank you for the coffee,” I said as I grabbed the white cardboard cup from Autumn.
“You’re so welcome. I miss that liquid goodness like you can’t believe.”
I smiled. “I’d die without coffee.”
Autumn set her drink down and rubbed her protruding belly as she sat next to me. “You want kids one day?”
“With Seth,” Joss blurted.
My eyes widened as Autumn said, “Really?”
“Apparently, those two,” Joss moved her finger back and forth as if Seth was in the room with us, “are a thing.”
I hid behind the skinny coffee cup but smiled again. Having girl talk felt good. We sat and talked as I told them how Seth and I had started something when I was eighteen, and how I was an idiot for too many years. How he told me at the wedding that he still loved me, and how I still loved him, and how we spent the days before everything went to shit together. I didn’t go into details, but that led to the talk ...
“Did you get any sleep last night?” Autumn asked.
I nodded slightly. “A little. I’m sure it was because I wasn’t alone.”
Joss looked to Autumn. “I’ll go first.” She took a sip of her coffee and then a deep breath. “I know you know bits and pieces of my story, but the night it happened, I wasn’t alone either. I was on a bus heading to D.C., but when I got there and couldn’t find Seth, I was alone. I cried and cried and cried. So if you want to cry, cry. Let yourself feel.”
“I did cry,” I confessed.
“I know,” Joss said. “But if you need to, keep crying. We’ll all understand.”
I gave a tight smile. “I know, but I’ll be going back to Florida, so I won’t burden any of you.”
“You’re not a burden, Cat. You’re my best friend.”
Joss and I hugged. Even though we hadn’t had a real relationship for so long, it felt as though we had. All those years apart were like seconds in time. Sure, we’d both had our life progress, but I felt as if we were back in high school talking about football games and how Victoria got caught giving head to Kenny Williams during lunch one day. Or how Sammy left school because she was pregnant. We were back on track.
“Is Seth going with you?” Autumn asked.
I shrugged. “He said he was, but he has a job. I can’t expect him to stay in Miami forever.”
Joss grinned. “I bet you could.”
“Right,” I snorted. I thought I could do that too if I asked, but I wasn’t sure if that’s what I wanted. There was so much to think about in such a little bit of time because I didn’t want to go one day without Seth again.
“He will. But anyway, I really didn’t get through my shit until Paul,” Joss continued. “Having someone to talk to, and someone who made me feel safe, was what did it for me.”
“Me too,” Autumn chimed in. “When I met Gabe, I was broken. My ex-husband used to put his hands on me. It wasn’t like I had a black-eye daily or anything like that. He was strategic because he wanted to keep up a front. I’d actually made the decision to leave him, but it wasn’t until I met Gabe that I was finally able to because he made me feel safe. One night we were having a party at my house, and Gabe showed up. He and Paul actually knew my ex.”
