I sat on my side of the bed, which put me behind her since she’d chosen to face the opposite way. Whether that was meant as a statement or not, I wasn’t sure. She typically slept in a ball like this, so it could have just been her preference at the time of lying down.
Regardless, I needed to stop analyzing and start speaking.
Except I had no idea where to begin.
I cleared my throat, uneasy with this strange concept of nervousness. Women never made me feel this way. No one did. Only Layla. Always Layla. She unnerved me in a way unlike any other and left me feeling like a fledgling.
I commanded warriors daily, had escalated to the top of my ranks, only to be brought to my knees by this alluring female.
My lips curled and I shook my head. “I have no idea what to say, Lay,” I admitted. “I’ve been pacing out here trying to find the right words, and nothing sounds right.”
She said nothing, but I caught the tension in her shoulders. She expected the worst, perhaps for me to ridicule her for her revelation.
I would never do that.
But I hadn’t exactly given her cause to believe I wouldn’t. I’d been a right ass from the beginning of all of this, chastising her for Falling, telling her she deserved this fate, taking out all my frustrations and aggression on her like she was some sort of soldier worthy of my wrath.
It wasn’t fair. I’d been wrong. And I needed her to know that now.
“Do you know why I left all those years ago?” I asked her, my fingers trailing the edge of her wing in a tender stroke. It was an intimate caress, one meant for mates. I shouldn’t have done it, but I was a slave to my instincts, a warrior losing the battle within my very soul.
She remained quiet, but I knew she was listening to me, waiting for me to continue.
“I sensed our suitability,” I murmured. “You had a nightmare one night and ran into my room, begging to be held. And your scent hit me right in the gut. It wasn’t a gradual sensation, but a shock to my system.”
I recalled the night with clarity, my blood heating as a fresh surge of her scent taunted my nostrils.
She’d been so alluring.
So beautiful.
So fragile and small.
Only sixteen years old, a female growing into her prime.
“There’d been no choice,” I continued. “I had to leave.”
I drew my finger along her wing once more, causing goose bumps to pebble down her arm. She otherwise didn’t react, her response one of silence.
“It was no longer considered proper for me to be your primary guard,” I added softly. “But it wasn’t easy, Layla. Actually, it was one of the hardest decisions of my life. You’re the first and only female I’ve ever met who is a suitable match. But as a Nora Warrior, I’m not permitted to take a mate. Especially not one of your class and standing.”
That didn’t stop me from touching her now.
That didn’t stop me from lusting after her either.
And it didn’t stop me from tracing her spine—a gesture that was considered the most sacred touch between mates.
“You smell like cherries,” I murmured. “Sweet and perfect and mouthwatering. I’ve wanted to taste you for so many years, Lay, but I know it’s wrong. Forbidden, really. And I used the excuse of your Fall as a way to distract myself.”
I rolled closer to her, my hand going to her hip as I curled myself around her and touched her ear with my lips.
“I’m trying to safeguard your honor,” I admitted, the scent of her hair tickling my nostrils and forcing me to take a deep inhale of that alluring, tantalizing scent. “Your father charged me with your protection. He put me here knowing we’re compatible, because it would make me that much more possessive. And he’s trusting me not to act on my urges.”
Which I was clearly not doing now as I pulled her closer, my arm circling her bare stomach as I held her in a way I was never meant to hold her.
“I’m sorry, Lay,” I said softly, uncertain of exactly what I was apologizing for. My treatment, surely. And maybe a bit for our situation and the fact that I wanted her more than I wanted to breathe yet couldn’t have her.
“I thought you hated me,” she whispered, her words barely audible despite the silent room.
