Love.
Affection.
Fear.
“I’m okay,” I said through the washcloth.
He nodded. “I know. If anyone could troop through this, it’d be you, Seb.”
I shook my head. “I’m just faking it until I make it.”
“You’re stronger than anyone I know.” Calvin removed the washcloth after my face was sufficiently warmed up.
“Not you,” I said as he grabbed shaving cream from the counter.
“Especially me.” He turned and started rubbing my face with the soapy cream.
“I don’t know what I’m going to do,” I said before closing my mouth as he wiped my lips clean.
“You’ve got me and your father.”
“I can’t live on Pop’s couch. And I can’t crash with you forever. That… that stupid apartment was rent-controlled. I could walk to work. I hate the fucking trains. I don’t want to deal with that twice a day. The lights hurt my eyes.”
Calvin washed his hands and took the razor from the bag I had left. He pulled it out of the packaging, ran it under the tap, and then turned back to me. “We’ll figure something out,” he said with a tone of finality.
So I didn’t argue anymore.
Not that I had any intention of continuing while he had a sharp point against me.
Calvin held my face with a sure, steady hand, using gentle, deliberate strokes as he shaved. It was definitely strange, but I don’t know…. There’s something so tender and precious in these moments I had with him. The little domestic blisses. Blisses that made Calvin relax, that made me think everythingwouldbe okay in the long run—blisses that so many couples tried for and never achieved.
Accepted silence.
No walls.
Unconditional love.
“I like you a lot,” I whispered as he rinsed the razor head. “Have I said that lately?”
Calvin’s mouth quirked into a little smile. “I like you a lot too.”
And that was that.
He finished and stepped aside so I could wash my face.
“Wow, silky smooth,” I said, touching my cheek. “And not even a tiny cut. You’re good.”
“Seb?”
I dried my face and looked up. “What?”
“Will you be able to come to the precinct so we can talk about last night?”
I swallowed as the image of the dead man bubbled up in my mind, but I nodded and squared my shoulders. “Yup.”
Calvin set a hand under my chin, tilting it up. “You’re my prince.”
My heart slugged hard against my chest. I’d told Pop back at Christmas time that Calvin treated me different than any other guy I’d been with. Treated me like a prince. It was startling to hear him say what I had secretly entertained about the two of us.
