I stared at Felix’s strong profile and was quite suddenly swept away by everything about him. From his beautiful chiseled features to his matching heart and voice of gold. My little insta-crush was quickly bubbling over into something a lot more serious and intense, and I had no idea how to keep a lid on it.
“You’re amazing,” I murmured.
Felix ducked his head a bit and ran his massively scarred hand through his hair. “Was that a question?”
“Sorry, no,” I said, laughing. “Although I could transition to, did it hurt?”
“Did what hurt?”
“When you fell down from heaven.”
Felix started laughing in earnest. “Stop it.”
“No, you like it.”
His cheeks were colored, but he smiled when he looked at me. “A little bit.”
I let out a breath. “Why’d you and your husband split?” I asked next.
Felix had begun stirring the soup again, but stopped abruptly. He picked up a towel and wiped his already dry hands. “A lot of reasons,” he answered.
“What’s one of them?” I asked, trying to be gentle.
Felix looked at me. “Sex.”
Huh?
“What, like… not getting enough?”
Felix shook his head and scrubbed an invisible stain on the countertop. “I married a man I wasn’t… very compatible with in bed. It was okay until it wasn’t. I tried everything to make it better for him.” He set the towel aside and looked up. “Even suggested an open marriage.”
“Did you want that?”
“No.” Felix looked over his shoulder and turned his attention back to the stove. He poured the diced potatoes into the pot of simmering leeks before stirring and adding a bit of salt. “But by then we had Alan, and I just wanted to keep our family together.”
“How much longer were you married?”
“We split just after Christmas.”
That explained the ex-husband’s disgruntled expression in that folded photograph on Felix’s desk. And it definitely confirmed the relief I’d heard in Felix’s tone when I’d offered to take the lead during our phone liaison. He’d been no better off than me and my failed relationships of Christmases past. The big difference being, when I was unfulfilled sexually and emotionally, I walked away and tried again with someone new. Felix had been in a more complicated situation.
I stood from the stool and moved toward Felix. “Hey.”
He turned.
I slid between him and the stove, got close, and pushed him back to the island. “I really like you,” I said, voice low. I put my hands on either side of the island, locking Felix in place.
His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed. “I like you too.”
“If we want this to work, we’ve got to be honest with each other.” I pressed against his body with my own. “Right?”
Felix silently nodded.
“And sex is important,” I continued. “If you need me in command, taking the lead, I can do that.”
Felix shook his head and stared at the floor. “It’s not only that.”
“Then what else is it, darling?”
