“No can do, sorry.”
“Why’s that?”
“She’s out.”
“And when will she return?”
“In like two weeks. She’s having a baby.” Cindy popped her gum again.
Sweet, merciful—
“Cindy,” I said firmly. “The package I received is a very rare and expensive artifact. This isn’t something I want to be responsible for. So may I please just read the tracking number to you and get some help finding out who the owner is?”
“What’s the tracking number, Mr. Sneeze?”
“Snow. My last name is Snow.”
“Sure.”
I pulled the phone away, gripped it in both hands, and strangled the life out of it. When I heard the plastic of the receiver crack, I eased up, cleared my throat, and put it to my ear before reciting the number.
Max glanced over at me a few times throughout the conversation as he made passes across the floor with the broom. I was listening to theclick,click,clickof long nails on a keyboard when Max stepped around me to collect the trash from underneath the counter.
“You’ve already accepted the package,” Cindy said after a minute.
“This morning,” I agreed.
“So if you don’t want it, you’ll have to pay for shipping it back to us, sir.”
“That’s not—have you been listening to me at all?”
“An oversized crate with insurance, inside pickup, and expedited delivery… the total comes out to four hundred twenty-five dollars and ninety-three cents.”
“Four hundred and twenty-five dollars?” I shouted.
“And ninety-three cents.”
“I don’t want to ship it back. I just want the sender’s phone number so I can ask them why they sent it tomein the first place! Am I supposed to sell it? Auction it? Use it for a coffee table?”
“That information is—”
“Confidential, I know!”
“Is there anything else I can help you with?”
“Oh my God. Cindy… please let me talk to someone else.”
“I’m the only one here.”
“Of course you are.”
“I can transfer you to the manager’s voicemail,” she offered before popping her gum.Again.
I took my glasses off and covered my face. “That she won’t check for two weeks?”
“The baby might be early.”
I laughed, in that weird way one did when they were losing their mind. “Sure. Transfer me.”
