“As the indifferent children of the earth.”
“What’s that?” she asked, pen hovering over the notebook.
“Hamlet,” I replied.
“I’ll assume it means you’re fine.” She took a breath and looked at me again. “Can you describe the assailant?”
“He came up behind me…. Taller, maybe six feet. Pretty damn strong. When we crashed into 4A over there,” I continued, pointing across the hall at my neighbor, who was being interviewed by Shapiro’s partner, “he got up and ran off before I could see his face.”
“Hair color?”
“I’m color-blind.”
“Okay…. Then can you describe what he was wearing?” she tried.
I shrugged. “It happened pretty fast. I don’t have very good vision. I saw a hoodie.”
She pursed her lips. “Anything else you can remember?”
I rubbed my chin. “He had a growly voice, but I think it was intentional. And his breath smelled like red licorice.”
Shapiro didn’t write the licorice thing down. “Would you be able to confidently pick him out of a lineup?”
“No,” I admitted.
“What’s this? Who called me?” My scary super was walking toward us from the staircase, arms spread out in a questioning manner.
4A raised his hand and pointed at me. “He’s locked out of his apartment.”
Super, seemingly unfazed by the presence of police, asked, “You lost key already? It’s beenoneday.” He held up a finger on his paw of a hand and waved it menacingly at me.
“I didn’t lose it,” I quickly answered.
“Then where is it?” Super asked.
“A crime scene.”
Both officers looked at me.
“Why you not call Boyfriend?” Super continued. “I amemergency only.”
“Boyfriend is at the crime scene with my key,” I tried. “And my phone. And my shoes. Please unlock the door. I’ve had a day like you wouldn’t believe.”
Shapiro looked down at the mention of my shoes. “You’ve got some piss-poor luck.”
“I know,” I agreed.
But I finally got into my apartment.
After two break-ins, a dead body, no keys, an assault, police questioning, an angry neighbor who would probably never let me borrow a cup of sugar after tonight, and a regular workday that had included migraine-inducing Pete White and a former military fuck-buddy of Calvin’s—I wasfinallyhome.
I shut the door, crawled onto the floor, and lay facedown.
Dillon barked at me.
My stomach growled in response.
And I never did pick up dinner….
