I reached around Calvin’s neck and let him pull me closer. “I know Lee used to be an old boyfriend.”
He looked surprised that was my conversation starter. “That was a long—”
“Hang on. Just let me… I don’t care,” I said quietly. “I don’t. I’ve been a mess lately. I know that. Trying to convince myself thatthiswill somehow end because I’m not a good enough catch for you.”
“Sebastian….”
“Listen,” I insisted, looking up at him. “I get self-conscious. There are some days… when I’m wearing mismatched clothes, have crumbs on my sweater, and the clerk at CVS gives me a dubious look when I buy condoms because she’d sooner believe I’m making balloon animals out of them than getting laid. And it gets to me. Sometimes not so much. Sometimes it’s worse. But I want to apologize to you. Because for months I’ve asked you to be honest with me and talk with me when you’re hurting, and I haven’t had the balls to do the same.”
Calvin’s face softened. His arms wrapped a little tighter around me.
“And I let Mr. Suave and Handsome get under my skin. But he’s an ex.”
“Yes.”
“And I’m not.”
Calvin smiled lightly and shook his head. “No, you’re not.”
“And… and I think we’re imperfectly perfect for each other. Like, peanut butter is too savory alone, and jelly’s too sweet, but we….” I started laughing. “We make a great sandwich.”
Calvin smiled with his entire face. He leaned down and kissed my forehead.
“You picked me,” I continued. “Despite all the warning signs that I’m an obnoxious know-it-all on even my best days, you’re here now. You could be anywhere in the world. And you’reright here. So maybe I’ll never be wholly confident in life. But… when it’s just you, and just me, I know I have nothing to be afraid of. You’re not going anywhere.”
“I’m not,” Calvin said. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” I answered before kissing him again.
I pushed Calvin back against the sink, grabbed his arms, and guided them down my body until his hands settled on my ass. I slipped his tie from around his neck, tossed it to the floor, and fumbled with the buttons down his chest as we continued kissing.
Calvin slid his hands into my pajama bottoms and gripped my ass hard, forcing me up against him. His erection pressed against his suit trousers and nudged my lower belly.
I tugged Calvin’s shirt free and pushed it from his shoulders, before it got caught around his lower arms. He laughed against my mouth and broke the kiss in order to finished pulling off his shirt. Calvin quickly threw it to the floor, took my face into his hands, and kissed me hard. He tasted like too much cheap coffee and never enough sleep. But he also tasted like love and life, and I was woefully addicted.
I reached between us and stroked Calvin through his clothes. I cupped him in one hand and gave a squeeze as I kissed his neck. He sighed and put a hand on the back of my head, keeping me in place. I licked from the hollow of his throat to his Adam’s apple, and he swallowed hard in response.
I said, with a surprising amount of confidence in my tone, “I want you to fuck me.”
Calvin leaned back a bit and raised my chin. “We’re in your father’s bathroom.”
“We can have sex on the couch if you’d rather, but I’d prefer not to subject my dad to front-row seats of his son getting plowed.”
“God, you’re so romantic.” Calvin held my face in both hands again.
“Finish getting undressed.” I untangled myself from Calvin and went to the door.
“Where’re you going?”
“Getting a condom.”
“You brought condoms?”
I stepped into the hall and looked over my shoulder. “Balloon animals—remember?” I smiled and hurried back to the living room.
I grabbed the backpack beside the couch and dug through it to retrieve the plastic bag from the store. After fighting with the wrapping around the box, I yanked it open, tore a condom free, and returned to the bathroom. I slipped inside and locked the door behind me.
The bathroom was small, but luckily there was enough space for the thick towel Calvin had put on the floor. He’d ditched his pants, too, but was still wearing boxer briefs when I entered.
