I’d just tried calling Calvin. Why didn’t he answer? Why did he textBeth?
Beth turned her phone around again, studied the text through her bifocals, and read aloud, “Don’t involve the cops.” She glanced at me. “The hell does that mean?”
I immediately called Calvin again. It rang three times and then stopped as if it’d been answered.
No one spoke.
“Calvin?”
No response.
“Calvin?” I choked. “Where are you? Please—who is this?”
All I heard was the faintest of breathing. Then I picked up the honk of a horn. A muffled voice. The static caused by wind hitting a microphone.
Outside.
“Forty-eight hours to findwhatskull? You’ve got to tell me that much,” I tried. “Let me speak to Calvin. I need—please. Is he okay?”
Still… no reply.
“I can’t stop the police from investigating,” I begged. “He’s a detective. They’re going to pull all of their resources to find him.” I gripped the phone. “You’vekidnapped—Major Cases has jurisdiction, for Christ’s sake! I’ll play your game. I’ll solve whatever mystery you want. But this is between us.Right?”
The Collector chuckled. It was a faraway sound. Detail-less.
“Let me talk to Calvin,” I shouted, tears of rage rolling down my cheeks.
There was a loudclankthrough the connection, then a distortedplop.
Beep.
Beep.
Beep.
THE CITYwas closing in on me as if I were stuck in a perpetual loop of the Vertigo Effect.
In the alley between Beth’s shop and mine, crouched against the brick wall, I closed my eyes and lowered my head. The sickening motion continued.
I was usually good at keeping calm.
It took a lot of turmoil to really shake me, to break me down.
I had a nearly perfect outer armor, a remnant from growing up. Because when you’re the weird kid, the awkward kid, the kid chosen last, or the kid sitting alone, you’ve got to protect yourself. That shell had been built out of intelligence and wit. History and words were my weapons.
If I couldn’t beat them physically, I’d beat them mentally.
And it’d worked. For a long time. Too long, really. Because I was still doing it as an adult.
Study the evidence, follow the clues, put together the puzzle, and prove I’m smart.
I’m useful.
I’mbetterthan what I look to be.
The difference between then and now was that Calvin knew when I was acting. It was still frightening to be seen naked and for what I was. Because the leftovers of childhood were still with me, in a bag I couldn’t seem to release my grip on. Insecurities I didn’t want Calvin to see through the lens of bullies long since past. Insecurities I didn’teverwant him to feel or think about me.
But I’d had a complete meltdown in the Emporium. I hadn’t felt that raw and utterly obliterated inside since summer, when I’d briefly broken the dam in front of Pop. What had happened—the screaming, the crying—I couldn’t cope with an audience realizing that kind of terrifying intensity existed inside a grown man.
