“In St. Louis,” Zachary concluded.
“Oh.” I heard the disappointment in my tone and decided to tuck it away to scrutinize at length once I was alone.
But if he heard the note of displeasure, Zachary ignored it. “St. Louis’s LGBTQ community isn’t even comparable to New York’s—we know that. But we’re on the top ten list for most gay-friendly cities in the country now.”
“I’m not looking to move.”
“And Pride draws a few hundred thousand every year.”
“I’m a low-key gay. Usually celebrate Pride from my couch.”
Zachary reached out and tapped the flyer so hard, he almost punched his finger through it. “But St. Louis was really theperfectlocation for Queer Expectations! Good food, good sights, equidistant from the East and West Coast…. They have all sorts of romance writers, you know. Historical, contemporary, mystery—”
“Are you two the organizers or something?”
Marilyn and Zachary beamed at what I guessed was a massive compliment, but said in unison, “We’re volunteer staff.”
“Ah.” I politely offered the flyer. “Well, thanks for stopping by… I guess.”
Zachary’s expression dropped. “You’re not interested?”
“It’s not that. I just don’t leave the city very often.”
“B-but the romance books,” Zachary tried, his voice almost cracking like a kid holding back tears.
“I have a vision condition,” I tried. “I only travel if my husband can—”
“Bring him along.”
Marilyn had her hands balled into fists and was shaking them excitedly at chest level. “Yes! Plenty of spouses come. He’d fit right in.”
I swallowed and was a little surprised that it felt like a softball was lodged in my throat. Beth knew I enjoyed romances. It was sort of a back-and-forth thing between us. She’d really dug deep to find one I’d like and had won me over with a title about two gay cops that I’d since reread, like… eight times. Max had seen the paperbacks in my office over the last two years, even thumbed through them occasionally while slacking off, but I hadn’t really ever… told anyone else. I’m not sure why. I wasn’t ashamed of liking them. The ones Beth found me were really well-written stories. But I guess… that stigma of enjoying romance books was enough to make me hesitant. After all, I dealt with enough bullshit being gay and legally blind, and I had no control over those aspects of my life. I didn’t need to advertise to strangers that there were even more ways to mock me.
“Keep the flyer,” Marilyn insisted. “You know, just in case.”
I looked at it a final time before folding it and sticking it in my back pocket. “Sure. Thanks.”
“Can you tell us which way Stonewall is?” she asked next.
I sighed, more heavily this time. “You’re in the wrong Village.”
“Sorry I’m late,” I said in a rush. I dropped my messenger bag to the floor, pulled out the seat across from Neil, and plopped down.
After everything that’d happened the last two years, from Neil nearly taking a bullet for me at Valentine’s, to putting his badge and career on the line for Calvin during Christmas, to simply being my friend and supporting my marriage when I think he had some regret built up about not having taken that chance with me when we’d been together, Neil and I had an unspoken arrangement to meet for lunch once a week. Whenever his schedule could swing it. Just him and just me. Calvin knew, of course. I’d be an idiot to try to hide that I met my ex on the regular for tacos, but more importantly, there wasno reasonto hide it. Calvin understood, at least on an intellectual level, that it wasn’t a love thing between Neil and me. At least, not romantic love. I did love him, but as a friend. Neil was my best friend, if I were being honest, and it wasn’t because he’d seen me naked that I said this.
This was the relationship we’d always wanted to have—friends. And we had a lot of lost time to make up for.
“I’m quite used to it,” Neil replied. He took a sip of water and then crossed his legs, somehow managing to display every square inch of his well-put-together body in an even more well-put-together suit.
“It’s been a day.”
“Aren’t they all?”
“There’s that.” I leaned over, found my glasses in my bag, and exchanged my sunglasses for them.
“I ordered for you.”
“What’d I get?”
