Neil folded a piece of bacon into his mouth. “Now we’ve gotten to the meat of the story.”
I set my fork and knife aside, took a sip of the coffee that tasted like it’d been poured through an old boot, then said, “The NYPD hired me.”
“You get winded climbing the stairs. I somehow doubt you passed the physical tests.”
“Wow. Can I get a shot or two in, or are you going to leave me bleeding out this morning?”
Neil shrugged. “You can try.”
I considered a moment before saying, “You look like Justin Bieber got drunk and stuck his finger in a light socket.”
Neil covered his mouth as he laughed. “What? Do you even know who Justin Bieber is?”
“Not really. It’s something I heard Max say last week.”
“So do I call you Officer Snow now?”
“Not unless you’re admitting to some disturbing role-play fantasies you’ve always wanted to act out with me.”
Neil closed his eyes, slumped back against the booth, and sighed heavily.
“The answer is no, by the way.”
“You make men need therapy.”
“Calvin’s lieutenant hired me as a consultant.”
Neil opened one eye. “To consult on a homicide?”
I shook my head. “There was a… er… curious artifact found at the crime scene.”
Neil sat up straight. “You’re joking.”
“I’m definitely not. Ferguson called at three in the morning and asked us both to come down to the precinct. Do you know Detective Radcliff?”
“Pretty-Boy Dean?”
“What’s up with him? He’s like, the All-American Heteronormative Boy Next Door or something.”
“He’s not straight.”
“You sure?”
Neil tapped the tabletop with his index finger a few times. “If he hasn’t sucked a dick or two in his lifetime, I owe you twenty bucks.”
“Okay, well, I’m unwilling to find out firsthand if that’s true, so the bet will not be accepted,” I answered. “Anyway. Whatever the case is, it was Radcliff’s until Ferguson went over his head and made Calvin lead.”
The relaxed humor of Neil’s expression was gone, replaced with his usual stern skepticism. “Why would Ferguson risk discontent in the ranks like that?”
“He said Calvin and Quinn had the most experience with, I quote, batshit-crazy, off-the-wall situations, end quote, so Radcliff was supposed to learn from them.”
“So there’s been a recent murder.”
“Yeah.”
“And it resembles cases from your shared history?”
“It would appear so.”
