“What qualifies asgoodto you?”
“Ten out of ten, will buy from again.”
Max made a so-so motion with one hand, still staring at his phone.
“What’s that mean?”
Looking up briefly, Max said, “You’ve rubbed a few people the wrong way over the years.”
“It’s not my fault people are idiots.”
“I thinkthat’sthe attitude that did it for some potential repeat customers. Remember the Civil War polish guy?”
I frowned. “No.”
“How could you not? You were getting a knob-slob in the office, and he wanted to pay only twenty-five cents—”
I abruptly reached a hand out and covered Max’s mouth. “Yes, okay, I remember that. He left a bad review?”
Max gave me afucking-duhexpression.
I removed my hand and returned to my phone, sorting the reviews by most recent. Several one-stars populated the page with all-caps comments and a liberal usage of exclamation points. “Madam Sandra pissed someone off.”
“What’s it say?”
“The newest from Monday says, ‘Fraud, fraud, fraud, fraud…’ on and on like that. Another from last week says, ‘Madam Sandra steals clients from legitimate psychics.’ And a third, ‘Buyer beware! This bitch is a liar and a con artist.’”
Max looked up from his phone once again, his brows knitted together. “It seems to me like there’s easier ways to make cash than rubbing a crystal ball for twenty bucks and saying, ‘Yup, your future’s looking bright.’”
“I’d be curious what she was charging for these ‘other side’ communications,” I answered.
“You think it was excessive?”
“Maybe. If you could talk to someone you loved just one more time, would you care the cost?”
“I guess not.”
“Predators like that have always existed. Table-rappers of the 1800s were charging between a quarter and dollar for a chance at a séance.”
“With inflation?”
I gave a pause, shrugged, then said, “Probably somewhere between ten and thirty dollars, depending on the decade. Now extrapolate that.”
“Let’s also not forget that New York costs, like, one hundred forty percent more than the average cost of living in the US,” Max stated before adding for further clarification, “I’ve been thinking about moving, so I’ve been trolling a bunch of real estate websites.”
“Moving?”
“Don’t stroke out. I’m looking at Gowanus.”
“That’s a choice.”
“Not all of us can afford a swanky East Village loft.”
“There’s a hippy store on the ground floor. I wouldn’t exactly call it swanky.”
“It’s not hippy.”
“They sell tie-dye, and last week the owner told me tostay groovy.”
