“Wait ...” I pause after repeating his words in my mind a good five times, until I’ve got the confidence to ask the question I need the answer to most. “You saidI’ll be in the van. What about Dom?”
“He’s no longer on this case.”
My head jerks back in surprise and my mind spins inside my skull like an out-of-control top.
“He’s no longer on the case?” I ask, my mouth and my heart both agape. “W-what do you mean, Shane? Why isn’t Dom on the case anymore? Is he in trouble? Is he ...?”Fired?
Or worse, did he quit to avoid me?The thought twists in my chest, sharp and unrelenting.
He searches my gaze for a long moment. I know my eyes have to be bouncing from side to side in uncertainty, but his are steady, controlled. Calculated, even. Which is the opposite of what I’m used to seeing from this normally quick-witted and easygoing detective.
“Shane?” My heart kicks into an unsteady rhythm inside my chest. I swear, the thing is pounding so violently, I can feel every beat against my ribs.
“There’s just some lines we shouldn’t cross, Hannah.” His eyes are this weird combination of sympathetic and edgy. “And he’s not in trouble. He’ll just be focusing on other cases now.”
What can I even say to that? The answer is nothing. Absolutelynothing.Because I know, without Shane saying it aloud,Iam the line Dom crossed. Being with me, getting close to me—that was the line, and we barreled through it the other night.
And now he’s not on the case.
What makes it all feel so freaking bad is that I didn’t get this information from Dom. I got it fromShane.
He could’ve called. He could’ve texted. He could’ve given me a heads-up.
But he didn’t. The last time I talked to Dom was early yesterday morning, before he left my houseafter we were together. The last update I got on the case was in regard to Waylon having alibis and no longer being a suspect. And now Dom is off the case and I need to take as many calls as I can because the warrant is going to expire.
Not only does it feel like MNPD is going to be moving on soon, but it feels a lot like Dom has already done so.
Moved on frommeas soon as I was naive enough to let him in.
The cold, harsh reality of my emergence from my sheltered life stings, and for the first time since I met Detective Dominic Dunn, I consider crawling back in.
It was boring and hard, but it sure as hell didn’t hurt like this.
30
Hannah
4:00 p.m.
I walk into the kitchen to the sounds of Gibbs talking to Ducky about an autopsy blaring from the living room television. My mom sits there, completely riveted over anNCISepisode I know she’s seen a hundred times, and Lovie is in the kitchen, multitasking dinner and a game ofAngry Birdson her phone.
“You hungry, Hannah Banana?” Lovie asks as she sets down her phone to stir a big pot of her famous chili on the stove. “Dinner’s going to be ready soon.”
“Smells good, Lovie, but I don’t have much of an appetite.” I shrug and plop down onto one of the kitchen barstools.
There’s already homemade sourdough bread in the oven, and the combining smells of fresh bread and spices would normally create an instant hunger in my belly. But I haven’t felt anything but nausea since I watched Shane leave my stupid sex cubicle this morning after telling me that Dom was no longer on the case.
And still, I haven’t heard a peep from Dom since he left my house early yesterday morning.
I’ve warred with myself over texting or calling him to ask what the hell is going on, because I deserve an explanation—as I deserved to hear that he wasn’t on the case anymore from him directly. But every time I’ve started to reach out to him, I just haven’t been able to follow through.
My pride won’t let me put myself in an even more vulnerable position, where I might hear all the things I fear the most.He doesn’t want to be with me. The other night didn’t mean to him what it meant to me. I’m not worthy.
“Hannah isn’t hungry for my chili?” Lovie asks with a soft tsk. “What’s going on, girl? You okay?”
“It might not be murder,” Ducky says to Gibbs from the television speakers behind me, and I don’t even have to look over my shoulder to know that Gibbs is flashing his typical amused-at-Ducky look before Ducky backtracks into his next line: “I know. I know. It always is.”
My mom bursts into laughter. “You got that right, Ducky!”
