“Well, maybe I don’t want your boat!” I shout back at him, my hands shaking and tears streaming down my face. “Dom, we haven’t even saidI love you, and you want me to let you just hand over fourhundred thousand dollars because you see me as a pitiful woman in need of a handout? I don’t think so, Dom. I don’t fucking think so.”
He stares at me for a long moment, his eyes sad and his mouth turned down at the corners. “Hannah, if you can’t see that this is me showing you just how much I fucking love you, I don’t know what to tell you,” he says, but his voice is so quiet and sad that it makes more tears fall down my cheeks. “Because I do love you.”
I love him too. So much it hurts. But this isn’t how I pictured our first “I love you” would be shared. And that makes this all the more tragic.
Tears stream down my cheeks. “I think you need to go.”
Maybe I’m prideful. Maybe I’m stubborn. But he shouldn’t have done any of this without talking to me first. Truth be told, I feel incredibly violated. I feel like he invaded my privacy.
“I’m so sorry, Hannah,” he says, but I just shake my head, my feet frozen to the ground and my eyes fixated on my bare toes.
Dom steps up to me, presses a soft kiss to my cheek, and whispers, “And even though leaving right now,walking away from you, is the last fucking thing I want, I’m going to respect your wishes. But fuck, Hannah, I hope you know that I’m still here. I’ll always be here. And you can always call on me.Always.For anything.”
And then, he’s gone.
38
Hannah
Friday, June 14
11:42 a.m.
“Do you want my big cock, Ruby?” David, my tenth caller of the day, heavy-breathes into my ear. “Tell me how much you want it, Ruby.”
“So much,” I mutter, my head falling into my hands.
“Oh yeah, I bet you do. You’re a greedy girl who loves big cock.”
I roll my eyes. “Cock-a-doodle-do.”
“What?” he asks, his heaving gulps coming to an abrupt stop.
Shit.“Um, yes. I love big cocks. Especially yours,” I quickly say, hoping to get him back on track so I can be done with this call.
But good news! After this call, there’s going to be another call. And another call. And another call. Until fucking infinity ...
I sigh and lift my head from my hands to let it fall back onto my chair.
Is this really my life? Doing phone sex with strangers?
Well, it wouldn’t be if you would’ve let Dom help you.
It’s been just over thirty-six hours since he broke the news that he paid off my reverse mortgage. A day and a half since I ripped up the six-figure check he wrote me and broke up with him. And ever since then, he’s called and texted me, but I haven’t answered.
I can’t answer, because I don’t know what to say.
On one hand, I am hurt that he did what he did without talking to me about it first. I’m mad that he didn’t give me an option to tell him no. On the other hand, a small part of me understands why he did it.
But making those sides mesh together feels impossible.
David continues to ramble on about how hard he is, and I have to force myself to respond in the ways I know he wants me to—needy moans and desperateyes, pleases.
It’s all so predictable. And tragic. Past me would be so disappointed in where we’ve ended up.
My cell vibrates on my desk, and I look down to see a missed text message from Dom. I hate that I check it.
Dom:I’m so sorry, Hannah.
