Then she pulls away with a small intake of breath.
“Are you okay? Are you hurt? Should I call a nurse?” I’m already reaching for the call button hanging off the side of her bed.
“No.” Eva shakes her head. “It’s one of the babies, or both. I don’t know. I just started feeling them about a week ago.”
“Can I feel?”
“They’re just little flutters right now. They’re not big enough yet to kick me like you see in the movies.”
“Oh.” I look down at the swell in her stomach between us. “I suppose I know nothing about pregnancy.”
“Join the club.” Eva laughs, and I see more of her usual spark slipping back into her eyes. “Talk about a steep learning curve. Although I guess having twins will be even steeper.”
“You’re keeping them, then?”
The thought had crossed my mind that Eva might put them up for adoption, she has enough on her plate already.
“I am.”
Her words are soft, warm, tender, and she curls her hand over her belly protectively.
On impulse, I rest my hand over hers and half expect her to pull away. And she does at first, then she smiles at me and sets her hand over mine again. The swell of her stomach presses against my palm, warm and round, the skin pulled taut over the place our children sleep.
Ourchildren.
I can only stare down in wonder at the place the four of us connect. And I know, in that moment, I will be in our children’s lives in whatever way Eva will have me. I will do everything in my power to protect the three of them, make them happy in any way I can, and make this world safe for them to live in.
“Eva, I—” My voice is rough, gravelly, thick with emotion I have to swallow before I can speak again. “Eva, come stay with me. Please. I will take care of you while you’re pregnant. Give you anything you need. Make sure you’re safe. Please. I need to know you, all of you, are safe.”
The desire to see them safe rises until it fills every part of me.
A shadow passes over Eva’s expressive face, and there’s a plaintive note in her voice as she asks, “Just while I’m pregnant?”
“No, Eva. Not just while you’re pregnant.” I cradle her cheek again, mindful of the scratch on the side of her face. “I want you to stay forever if you’ll have it. Have me. I want us to be a…”
A family.
Never once had I entertained the idea of a family beyond my Bratva. Family, a wife, children, were not part of my destiny. Only success, power, and money. But now? Now I can see Eva by my side, the ring on her finger showing the world how much she is mine. I can see our twins playing in the yard or on the beach, where we’d have to put up a wall to keep them away from the sea cliff. I can see warmth, laughter, light, and even love. All the things I never imagined, never thought I wanted, never believed I deserved, but now need so desperately.
“Come stay with me, Eva. Don’t leave my side. Please.”
“I’ll stay.” She smiles at me, warmth and, dare I name it, love in her dark eyes. “I won’t leave.”
I dip my head, capture her lips softly with my own, then press my forehead against hers. “I love you. You’re all I need. You’ve become a part of me I didn’t know I needed, and I can’t imagine living without you.”
Ihavelived without her, and it was hell.
“I love you, too,” she murmurs, and the words reverberate through me, turning my world on its head.
I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I slip off my suit jacket and shoes, then slide into the bed beside her. She curls up against me, her head on my shoulder. I cradle her and our twins, mindful of her sling-bound arm. And for a moment, as Eva slips into sleep, her breathing slow and even, her warmth pressed along my side, everything is right with the world.
The heart monitor beeps evenly, the rain patters on the window, and the closed door muffles an announcement and the Christmas music in the hallway.
Silence lets the anxiety slip in, the old trauma that has warned me away from anything like this.
“Please,” I pray to anyone and anything listening. “Don’t take them from me.”
