And even I fucking believed it.
“So, what do you think?” Grace’s smooth voice cuts through my thoughts. “I’ve tried so hard with them, and I just keep going backwards.”
“They like more shade,” I answer, gesturing to the corner. “If you move them over there, I think they’ll thrive.”
“Okay, I’ll go get a trolley,” she says, smiling. “You don’t mind helping?”
“Not at all,” I reply, smiling back.
I watch her walk away, a sense of unease growing inside me. The warmth and connection I feel from Grace seem so genuine, and that’s what scares me so much about it.
I can’t trust my own judgement. She might be laughing at me behind my back, and I’d never know…
Suddenly, I can’t take another second of the inner conflict. I turn and run towards the side entrance of the nursery, wanting to put as much distance between me and Grace as possible. The plants ripple a little as I run by, as if they’re trying to chatter with me, but I close my senses off.
As I leave the nursery and run into the woods, full-blown fear explodes in my guts. Paul could be anywhere, and running straight out into the woods is a dangerous thing to do.
I’d rather get caught by him than live through this humiliation again. How dare that asshole say that to me—as if I have no value if I can’t shift!
I’d gone through the town earlier today with a vague sense of hope hovering in my heart, but when Mitchell spoke those words, it was as if I could feel the unpleasant scrutiny of every single person in the pack.
Anything but this. I can’t stand to fall in love with a place, a community, only to have it yanked out from under my feet again.
The smooth, sandy path gives way to rough rocks and tussocks of wiry grass. I barely notice the changing terrain as I run straight into the nearby woods and put as much distance between me and the town as possible.
I run for a good distance before the exertion begins to catch up to me, and when I slow down, thoughts of Brad flood my mind. Even though I try to deny it, there was a part of me that was hemstitching a future where the two of us fall in love again.
Don’t be so fucking stupid. It’s immature ideas like this that got you into trouble in the first place!
A little tear runs down my cheek, and I hold back a sob.
I will not fucking cry. I am going to make it out of here and build a new life—it’s what I’m good at!
This time, I won’t compromise. I won’t let anyone into my life ever again.
Even though I’m too tired to run, I keep up a brisk walk. Ideas of Brad continue to float around my head, and it makes me even more determined to get away from him.
Things have been so weird. Why is he so protective of me? He seems to think he can make up for the past, like I’ll just change my mind about him. But surely, he can see that’s never going to happen.
I walk for a few more miles, beginning to follow a narrow ridge. It angles upwards on a gentle slope, and I decide to go to the top and get my bearings. The sun is beginning to sink on my right, which means it must be west—the direction of Caliente.
I don’t know if I want to go back that way…it might be better to keep going south.
The rocky hills lead roughly east, so I decide to follow them for a while and see where I end up. Brad said there was nothing but desert in this direction, and that I’d never survive it, but he might have been lying.
Everyone lies to me. Why should he be any different?
I’m making good time moving east, with the sun sinking slowly behind me, when I hear footsteps in the scrub below.
I freeze for a second, listening. Even though the person seems to have covered their noise, I can still sense them there.
What the fuck am I going to do?
The thought of Paul taunts my mind, but it shocks me to realize that he isn’t actually my worst fear right now. I’m even more afraid of one of Brad’s elders or pack members showing up then dragging me back into town for a bit of public ridicule.
Anything but that! Fuck!
I start to run, heading for a dip between the two hills ahead of me. I’m hoping to find a cave or somewhere else to hide while I try to come up with a plan.
