The last thing I want to do is frighten her…I want her to feel safe.
I can’t deny that I’m still carrying my guilt over what I did to her, and I know I deserve all the blame.
And I don’t deserve her.
I don’t want her if she isn’t completely willing. If she gives in to desires when she still has resentment toward me, it will only drive a deeper gap between us.
I want this to be real, not just a momentary release of hormones and heat.
I put my hands on her shoulders, very gently, and apply a little pressure to hold her back.
“Alisha,” I whisper, mesmerized by her lips being an inch away from mine. Her scent is thick, rising from the heat of her body, completely engulfing me and confusing my senses.
“Yes, Brad?”
It takes me a moment to gather my thoughts again and remember what I want to say.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” I ask.
She nods. “I feel…safe. For the first time in a long time. And I want you. I’ve missed you so much.”
Her words bring a huge smile to my face, and my heart surges with joy, but I’m still not convinced.
I still haven’t told her why I left her. How can she trust me so much?
“Should we go to the couch?” I ask, hoping I have the courage to finally bare my soul.
“Sure,” she says with a wink, and a wide, expectant grin that makes my knees weak.
Alisha takes my hand and leads me down the hall to the living room, waiting for me to sit down before she snuggles in close to me and puts her legs across mine.
“Where were we?” she mutters, grabbing my shoulders to pull me closer. I fall into her kisses, the warmth of her mouth, the press of her body, and the lust rising between us, wiping my mind clear again.
“Wait,” I gasp, pulling back and taking a deep breath as if I’ve been underwater.
I am fucking drowning.
“What for?” she asks, wriggling under me. I struggle to regain my train of thought.
“I know it was important…” I mutter.
She laughs softly.
“Okay,” she mutters, sitting up and pushing me back. Before I can stop her, she’s wriggled up until she’s sitting astride my lap with her hands on my shoulders. “I really appreciate you being such a gentleman,” she says. “And we should talk, and we will. But right now, can you just kiss me?”
“Alisha,” I whisper. “I don’t want to take advantage of you.”
“Check us out,” she giggles, gripping my shoulders and wriggling on my lap. “If anyone’s taking advantage here, it’s me!”
Looking up at her beautiful smile, all I can do is smile back. “I will do whatever you think is best,” I mutter lamely.
My ability to think in any way has flown completely out the fucking window.
“Then kiss me,” she whispers.
I tilt my head back on the couch, and Alisha immediately puts her lips on mine. I close my eyes, feeling her hands digging into my shoulders, her knees straddling my lap. When she begins to writhe and thrust her hips against me, I put my hands around her waist and gently rub her sides with my hands, almost desperate with need.
As if she can feel this, Alisha pulls back a little, covering my mouth with tiny, light kisses. Her fingers dig deeply into my shoulders, her nails almost piercing the skin as she grinds downwards into my lap with her hips.
