She shrugged. “What if it is both?”
“Then I am afraid you will be disappointed on both counts. I am not among them because the affair is no business of mine. I have no property or claim in the region. Therefore, my input is not wanted.”
Elizabeth was ready with a fresh tea plate the moment Mr Darcy finished the last of his biscuit. If he left, she might very well have no one else to ask, for surely, her father would not trouble himself to answer her questions so frankly. She tugged the empty plate from the gentleman’s hands and traded it for a full one before he quite knew how to respond—he merely stared at her with an empty expression for an instant.
“If you think to bribe me with food in exchange for information,” said he at last, “I am afraid I have little to offer.”
“That is what you say, but I am willing to take my chances. Surely, you must have overheard something else. What are they meaning to do about the washed-out riverbed? What of the roads? I heard the North Road was hardly passable where it comes near the River Mery.”
“I am sure Mr Wickham will pledge his assistance,” the man said, but he looked quickly away as he said it.
“I am sure he will, but… why, Mr Darcy, whatever is the matter? Was that biscuit bad?”
“It is perfectly acceptable.”
“Then it is the company,” she declared, with a flick of her index finger toward herself.
“I assure you, it is not.”
She set a hand on her hip. “Your assurances weigh little in comparison to that sour face you just made. What…” She glanced to her right, where her father and Mr Wickham were talking… or rather, her father was nodding, and Mr Wickham was sketching images in the sky with his hands.
“Is it Mr Wickham?” she guessed.
“I told you, Miss Elizabeth, there is nothing amiss.” He finished the biscuit, then, not knowing what else to do, relinquished his plate to her with a brisk bow. “It has been a pleasure, Miss Elizabeth.”
She watched him walk away, both empty tea plates stacked in her arms. “Well! At least Mr Wickham appears to be engaged in the matter, even if his friend is rather useless.”
Chapter Sixteen
“Ah, nothing quite like the serenity of a peaceful morning,” Mr Bennet mused aloud, peering over his newspaper. “Of course, it would be even more serene if one did not have to announce unexpected guests.”
Mrs Bennet looked up, puzzled. “Unexpected guests? What are you talking about, Mr Bennet?”
Mr Bennet leaned back in his chair, a twinkle of mischief in his eyes. “Well, it appears my esteemed cousin Mr Collins will be arriving this afternoon. I do hope you all find the news as exhilarating as I do.”
Mrs Bennet nearly dropped her teacup in shock. “Mr Collins? Arriving today? Whatever do you mean?”
“Indeed, I believe he is eager to grace us with his presence. I received a letter from him some days ago, and he is to arrive this very afternoon.”
Elizabeth looked up from her plate, her curiosity piqued. “Today? And you thought now was the appropriate time to inform us?”
Mr Bennet shrugged, his eyes twinkling with amusement. “Well, better now than when you sit at table this evening with a stranger, my dear. Here, I shall read it to you.”
He retrieved the letter from his coat pocket with an air of nonchalance as if the entire matter were a delightful joke. The room fell silent as he began to read aloud.
“Dear Sir,
The honour of being your heir has long been a source of pride for me, and it is with the utmost deference that I pen this letter to inform you of my forthcoming visit to Longbourn. My esteemed patroness, Lady Catherine de Bourgh, has most graciously granted me leave to make this journey, and I shall arrive at your residence by Wednesday afternoon. It is my sincere hope that this visit will afford me the opportunity to make the acquaintance of my fair cousins and to strengthen the bonds of familial affection.
Yours most respectfully,
William Collins”
Mrs Bennet clapped her hands together in delight, her face alight with excitement. “Oh, Mr Collins is coming! Do you know, I was quite certain we would have no notice at all from that man, but this is splendid news. Perhaps he means to do well by our girls, after all. Oh, girls! You shall put on your second-best gowns, and… oh, Lizzy, do not even think of disappearing off to Charlotte Lucas’s this afternoon! I shall go distracted, I absolutely swear it, if you turn up bedraggled from some mishap again.”
Elizabeth crossed her arms and sat back. “I doubt a parson would take a liking to me, anyway, Mama.”
Mr Bennet leaned back in his chair with a sardonic smile. “Our cousin Collins’ letters suggest he has a remarkable talent for obsequiousness and an impressive enthusiasm for flattery. I do wonder how well these qualities will serve him in person. It should be quite the performance to behold.”
