His breath was coming too fast. He forced himself to take a slow inhale, to exhale just as deliberately. He could not afford to lose control. Not now. Not when the work was still unfinished.
But blast it all to hell, he needed todosomething!
He wanted—no,needed—to go to Georgiana. To look her in the eyes and demand to know why. To hear her explanation, to find out how close she had truly come to disaster. To hold her if she was shaking, to scold her if she was defiant. To tell her that she was safe now, that she would understand someday, that she would never have to see Wickham’s face again.
But Richard was right. He could not leave London now. Not with Stanton’s fate still uncertain, not with his own reputation hanging in the balance, not when the election was only just concluding. If he abandoned his position at such a crucial moment, he might as well admit his sister’s shame to the multitudes and hand Stanton the victory himself.
And there was something else. Something that pulled at him with an urgency just as fierce as his need to see his sister.
Elizabeth.
Before he even fully processed the thought, he was reaching for his coat. He needed to see her. To speak to her. To tell her—what?
That he was in love with her? That somehow, in these last weeks, she had become the blood in his veins and the hope that inspired him to greet each new day?
His breath stilled.
He did not know.
But, God help him, he needed to see her all the same.
Chapter Thirty-Three
The carriage had barelyrolled to a stop before the front door of Longbourn burst open, and four excited voices filled the air.
“Lizzy! Oh, Lizzy!”
Elizabeth hardly had time to step down before Lydia threw herself at her, nearly knocking her bonnet askew in her enthusiasm. Kitty was right behind her, hands clasped eagerly as she bounced on her toes. Mary stood slightly apart, her expression still rigidly composed but unmistakably curious, and Jane—sweet Jane—waited just behind them, a warm, welcoming presence, smiling as though she had been holding her breath for weeks and could finally exhale.
Mrs. Bennet’s voice soared over them all, fluttering hands and breathless exclamations accompanying her words. “My dearest, dearest girl! Home at last! And looking so well—oh, tell me everything! Did you see any of the royal family? Were there many grand balls? I heard rumors, Lizzy! I have heard all sorts of things—”
Elizabeth felt herself being swept inside before she could even offer more than a token protest. She barely had time to remove her gloves before she was deposited onto the well-worn settee in the drawing room, her family clustering around her as though she had returned from some great expedition to a foreign land.
“Did you have many dances, Lizzy?” Kitty asked eagerly. “You must have! I heard that there were ever so many gentlemen in town this year!”
“Oh! But she had better ones thanordinarygentlemen,” Lydia interjected, plopping herself onto the arm of the sofa and grinning wildly. “Lizzy, we have heard everything! You were on the arm of a man with ten thousand a year!”
Elizabeth barely had time to react before Mrs. Bennet nearly swooned at the reminder.
“Oh, my poor nerves! My dear girl, how could you return before it was all settled?” Mrs. Bennet cried, pressing a hand to her bosom. “Mr. Bennet, do you hear this? She wasseen on the arm of Mr. Darcy himself! You could have had Pemberley, Lizzy! I hear it is the finest estate in all of Derbyshire. And you came home!”
Elizabeth let out a long breath, glancing toward her father, who had just entered the room with a bemused expression. He was, as ever, a study in amusement and mild exasperation.
“I did hear it, my dear,” Mr. Bennet replied, settling into his chair. “And I suspect I shall continue to hear it for the next several days, at least.” His eyes twinkled with quiet humor as he turned toward Elizabeth. “You are, of course, very cruel for returning before your mother could parade you before the entire neighborhood as an engaged woman.”
“I fear I have been the source of great disappointment,” Elizabeth agreed, lips curving wryly. “I have returned unwed, unbetrothed, and entirely without the vast fortune you would all so dearly like me to have secured.”
Mrs. Bennet made a scandalized sound in her throat. “But why?” she wailed. “Oh, Lizzy! Did you refuse him?”
“There was nothing to refuse.”
Elizabeth’s words silenced the room. For a moment, even Mrs. Bennet was speechless.
Jane stepped forward then, laying a gentle hand on Elizabeth’s arm. “Come upstairs, Lizzy. You must be tired.”
Elizabeth hesitated, glancing around at her expectant sisters and her mother’s pinched, desperate expression. In seconds, they were in the hall, moving toward the stairs. She knew exactly what Jane was doing—rescuing her from this, from all of it. And she was grateful. But…
She had delayed too many things already.
