It was not the first time he had attacked someone in his sleep, nor was it likely to be the last. The bother ofnow, though, was this blasted disorientation. Morphine magnified the usual stupor until he hardly knew which way he was facing. Was this really Matlock?Home?A place he had not dared enter ever again? Good Lord, he was a dead man.
He cast an arm over the intact side of his face, struggling to think. Darcy—he had to call him back, beg his cousin to smuggle him to the coast before it was too late. But Darcy was out in the hall. He could hear them still—his cousin’s low, urgent tones and then the scattered sobs of the woman.
Elizabeth.He should know that face, that voice. His mind pinched and twisted. Something was off—the wrong place.
The truth seared his being an instant later, and he gulped a long, stricken breath. He bolted once more from the bed and then stumbled when his fever-weakened limbs refused to carry him. He lay there on his stomach, looking up at the door.
Elizabeth!
“Outofthequestion!”William was quaking, his hands framing the air, and his features pale. “You cannot sit alone with him. What if I had not been just outside, Elizabeth? How long would he have choked you before he came to his senses?”
Elizabeth put a quivering hand on his chest, knowing even then that she ought not, but craving some sense of calm in all this. The only centre, the only peace she could feel, was him.
“But he is awake now,” she protested. “You saw how he settled when he remembered where he was, who we were.”
“WhoIam. I am not confident that he will remember you with ease, and that is what worries me.” He caught her hand and twined his fingers impatiently with his own. “Elizabeth, I am not willing to risk it. Not even for Richard.“
“But—”
He touched his fingers to her lips, his eyes lingering softly there. “I know I cannot hold you. I know it. But neither can I surrender you to a man who could do you harm. What would it take? A single nightmare like that, and he...”
He broke off abruptly, dropping her hand and blinking up at the ceiling. “Great heavens, I cannot do this!” he whispered fiercely. “I told myself I could. From the beginning, I have always known it would be for me to step away if need be, but how, for mercy’s sake, am I to do it?”
She looked down, tears spilling once again as she tried to make words come from her throat. “William, please. I can bear up, but I cannot watch you suffer.”
He stepped into her and cupped both palms around her face. “Do you want me to go? I just told the earl I would, but I changed my mind two minutes ago when I saw you at Richard’s senseless mercy. Knowing what I know, having seen what I saw, would you still ask me to go?”
She closed her eyes, trying not to look at him. “I would have you act with honour, as I must.”
His teeth gleamed in a flare of anger. “Honour. Or is it fear of what we are casting away? Very well, then promise me you will never put yourself in harm’s way, never be alone with him. I will leave, if it makes it easier for you.”
She shook her head against his hands. “Will... it is my place, my duty,” she mouthed, almost soundlessly.
His body swelled in a restrained outburst, and his mouth hardened. Electric blue eyes sparked, but he dropped his hands and stepped back—none too soon, for two doors away a figure moved into the hall.
The dowager countess approached, her features settled into stately pleasure, and her strides measured and majestic. Her maid shadowed her, and Elizabeth made a conscious effort tonotlook as if she had been just about to fling herself into William’s arms.
“My dear girl. Nephew—” the dowager extended a weathered hand and greeted them both. “How is my son?”
“He is... just awakened, my lady,” Elizabeth answered. “A little shaken today, I am afraid.”
“Aunt,” William put in, “forgive me, but I cannot advise you to visit him alone. Richard has endured an impressive deal of trauma and occasionally does not know where he is. I would not wish to endanger either his conscience or your safety.”
The dowager drew a lengthy breath and turned to William. “If he does not know his own mother, then I have no hope for either of us. You are very good, Darcy, but I shall see him.”
William stiffened in preparation for his objection, but the dowager puckered her old lips and stepped closer. “I am sorry, Darcy. I was always terribly fond of you, my lad.” She patted his shoulder briefly—an odd mannerism for her—and passed by. “Open the door please, Sarah.”
The former countess and her maid disappeared into the chamber, closing the door behind themselves, and leaving Elizabeth and William with a monstrous silence between them.
She swallowed a final shivering sob and squared to face him. “I should attend her.”
He dropped his head into a reluctant nod and began to step away.Was that it, then?They were finished... just that swiftly.
Her chest constricted and shattered, but she let him turn away from her. It was what she had asked him to do, after all. One of them, at least, must remain rational.
If only she did not die a little more with every step she took from him.
“Elizabeth, wait.”
