“No, that will not be necessary, but I thank you.” She nibbled her lip. “Ah… how did you sleep last night?”
His dismissive grin was as open and cheerful as it had ever been. “I've no idea. As far as I know, no sailors had to burst into my room to tell me I was frightening people in neighbouring cabins.”
She smiled. “I heard nothing across the hall.”
“First proper bed in three days. Perhaps I wore myself out sufficiently to sleep like a rock. I am sorry we had to travel in such haste with so little preparation, Elizabeth. I fear it must have been terribly uncomfortable for you.”
“It was nothing. I managed well enough.”
“You… you slept well? We hardly got the accommodations I would have liked—narrow, single cots and all that—but I hope you had a decent bed, at least.”
“Better than some I have known.”
“Good. The ship is to put in at Iceland tomorrow, so I will see about better accommodations for us then.”
She nodded.
“Elizabeth… are you sure you’re well?”
She looked up from the plate she had been staring at. “Yes. Why would I not be?”
“Well, I can think of a dozen reasons. You look a little peaked, you have not eaten a proper meal in days, and you keep gazing at nothing. Pardon me for saying it, but you do not seem quite the girl I remember. Are you ill?”
She shook her head. “No, I assure you, I am in perfect health.”
“Well… you will forgive me if I am not very adept at reading your wants. I’m sure there are others who could have done it better.”
She tilted her head. “What do you mean by that? I have not asked you to interpret my feelings.”
“On the contrary, I think it to be a requirement for a married couple. Don’t you agree? Any husband ought to know in his bones if something troubles his lady. I understand we know each other but little—ridiculous, isn’t it?” he laughed tightly. “My family all know you far better than I do, and yet, here we are.”
Elizabeth summoned a waiter to refill her teacup as a means of delaying her response. Precisely how did he wish her to answer that? After she had stirred in her sugar lump, she looked back to find his chin lowered, his lips pursed, and a narrow gaze levelled at her.
“Is there anything you need to tell me, Elizabeth?”
She swallowed too quickly, burning her throat, and causing herself to cough. “What about? It has been a year. I suppose we both have much to say.”
“I expect we do. Much can happen, both in war and love.”
Elizabeth framed her hands around her cup and cleared her throat. “You… uhm… You are referring to… to Mr Darcy.”
“I suppose I am. I am surprised, though, that I have had to drag it out of you.”
Her palms ached with an unexpected tingle of nerves, and she flexed her hands, then dropped them under the table. “I was not hiding it from you. I assumed William—Mr Darcy told you everything, and we would discuss it when we had an opportunity. It is not as though we have had a quiet few days, dashing from coaching inn to train station to dockyard, and always watching over our shoulders.”
“No,” he echoed. “It is not. But you are mistaken in one respect, for it was not Darcy who told me, but my brother. Any idea why that would be?”
“I… I cannot say. Perhaps he did not wish to part from you on uncomfortable terms.”
Richard sat back. “That must be it. Because what could be uncomfortable in finding out at the very last minute that my cousin had intended to wed my ‘widow,’ and would not confess it to me like an honourable man?”
Elizabeth’s spine stiffened. “I cannot account for all his reasoning and actions. All I can tell you is that he wished for nothing more than to see you alive and well. I watched him mourn you for months, and I will not hear you abusing his honour. Nothing but permanent harm to yourself can come from you lashing out in jealousy or wounded pride.”
He crossed his arms. “That is the first bit of spirit I have seen from you since I came back. Odd that it came in Darcy’s defence.”
Elizabeth bolted to her feet and tossed her napkin on the seat. “You are not the only one who endured hell, Richard! I lost everything, too, and just when I thought I had found my feet once more, the world turned upside down all over again. It is not your fault, any more than it is mine. I am not saying I would go back or do anything differently, but neither do I regret my time with William. I’ll not apologise for it!”
His arms fell, and he opened his mouth to call her back, but she was already marching away.
