Chapter fourteen
“My Lady.” Mr Collins scraped humbly before his patroness. “I am most honoured to be of service in whatever way your ladyship should desire. How deeply moved I was to receive your note yesterday while I was visiting in Hertfordshire! My gladdest wish is answered, for the very joy of my heart is to carry out your every request. How may I be of service, my most esteemed and revered Lady?”
Lady Catherine glanced to the door, which was guarded by none other than the butler himself. “I will speak to the parson in privacy,” she informed the man. He looked about, bowed his respects, and closed the door between them.
Collins was still standing and bowing every few seconds as if he had forgotten that he had already done so, with his dumpy hat still in his hands from his travels and that wheedling smile overtaking his pasty features. Lady Catherine could barely restrain a sniff. He was useful, if a cloying, laughable excuse for a parson, and he did not trouble her with spiritual trifles or expensive ethics.
“I want you here,” she glided about the room, her hand lifted expressively, “because I have glad tidings. As you know, my nephew, and consequently Anne’s cousin, is Mr Fitzwilliam Darcy, a gentleman of remarkable fortune and good repute. It is his house in which you are presently a guest. My daughter has been betrothed to him since her infancy, and I am pleased to report that the marriage will be solemnised imminently.”
A look of childish pleasure beamed upon the parson’s sweating face. “Oh, My Lady, that is the very gladdest of news! Only tothink that I had expected to delight your ladyship with news of my own engagement, but the fair Miss de Bourgh’s happiness is more dear even to my heart than my own. This is indeed a blessed day! Does your ladyship request that I humbly offer my services to the betrothed couple, to lend spiritual counsel in preparation for marriage? Shall I guide their steps as they ready themselves for this all-important station?”
Lady Catherine flicked her hand, demanding that he cease speaking long enough for her to make her desires known. “I intend for you to perform the service. A special license has been obtained and has been delivered into our hands only an hour ago.”
Collins’ eyes grew wider, his ungroomed brows forming one bushy line in the midst of his pale forehead. “Such eminent foresight! Your ladyship has taken every precaution to see that Miss de Bourgh is not troubled by a long ceremony in a draughty church! One can never know if another church has been properly aired or thoroughly warmed. I bow to your wisdom, My Lady.”
“Is anything less due to the daughter and heiress of the de Bourgh family heritage? This marriage shall see the uniting of two of the finest families in the kingdom, unifying the two great estates and securing what has long been promised as her birthright. I would not risk her health in any public setting, no matter how fine the architecture or prestigious the bishop. The ceremony will be performed in this very room.”
“Your ladyship is a fount of wisdom! If only my parishioners could witness your sterling example of humility. What are a gilded ceiling and stained glass when the sacrament of a bride’s duty might be imperilled?”
“Indeed. You shall appreciate that proper forms have already been procured, thanks in great part to Mr Darcy’s thoughtful provisions for his future bride. I had them set out for your examination.”
“Indeed, My Lady, I am certain that everything has been done properly. There shall be no need for my humble eyes to examinethem if your ladyship has already deemed them satisfactory. When is the ceremony to take place? I have not my proper clerical robes….”
“This evening, as soon as my nephew has returned from his business.”
“This… this evening? Why, of course! It is outside the canonical hours, but a special license has been procured, and perhaps your ladyship is wise to impress that distinction. The heiress of the de Bourgh legacy need not submit to form!”
“And the Earl of Matlock shall witness. The marriage will be solemnised and consummated at once, so that no objection may be made by jealous Society.”
“But My Lady, would not Miss de Bourgh prefer a proper courtship period? Perhaps a ball hosted in her honour, to announce her impending happiness?”
“No such trivialities shall be necessary. Anne, of course, would be the most celebrated dancer in Town, had she learned, but she has not the appetite for revelry. Neither does she have need for a larger trousseau, and Darcy shall see that she is properly honoured wherever she goes.”
“A thousand apologies, for I have again underestimated your beneficence, My Lady! Miss de Bourgh is the most fortunate young lady, and we who wish her well shall be the most blessed of all witnesses.”
“Naturally. Now, Collins, I presume you have found some lodgings in Town?”
“Indeed, I have, My Lady! You see before you the happiest of all men, for I have been most graciously received into the home of my future relations, and Miss Elizabeth Bennet, who shall be my bride, is also a guest in the same house. I am most eager during my stay to bestow upon her those little attentions which ladies find so agreeable, that our own humble felicity may be assured when the happy day comes.”
“You may return to your future relations until you are sent for. I have no present need for you, and it would be hardly suitable for you to linger about this house before the bride and groom are prepared to meet. However, when you return to conduct the ceremony, I insist that you bring your betrothed to pay her respects to the bride.”
“Your ladyship is as gracious as you are wise,” he bowed.
“I confess, it did not occur to me that I would not be welcomed in my present attire.” Darcy stood uncomfortably on the pavement, glancing up the street.
“I had wondered at your intentions when you walked into the hotel and ordered a table but thought it better not to ask,” Miss Bennet replied with a poorly disguised grin.
“Nothing is stopping you from taking some refreshment. I will wait here for you, for I would rather not loiter in the back with the… ah… with men I do not know.”
“It was you who first mentioned your hunger, not I. I can well imagine why, if you have not eaten since that bit of biscuit and coffee this morning. I can manage until I return to my aunt’s home. However, we must think of something for you, for it will be almost an hour before we will have returned to Gracechurch in the mid-day traffic. I would not like for you to faint off the back of the coach. Heaven knows the trouble I should have in dragging you off the streets a second time!”
Darcy felt his stomach tighten. Blast the woman, but she simplywouldtease him, and he could no longer pretend that it annoyed him. Far from it, in fact. He looked down into her composed expression and detected that spark of mirth in her eyes, the laughter threatening to bubble from her lips. It was quite simply too tempting to banter with her, and he had had enough of fighting for the day.
“I doubt a public coachman will be so obliging as your uncle’s must have been. You would be forced to leave me to be trampled underfoot.”
“And heaven knows, we cannot have that! Only think how disappointed your family would be.”
The inflexion she placed on the wordfamilywas hardly to be missed. “Upon consideration,” he mused with affected gravity, “perhaps your suggestion has some merit. I might even consider it a lucky escape.”
