“My Lady,” Collins shook his head in that patient, long-suffering manner well-practised by all in his profession, “I am afraid I am most confused.”
“Barrett is not worth a second thought,” she assured him. “But Darcy! I will have words with him. How has he discovered it? Someone must have told him.”
“I am certain it is all a mistake, My Lady, for how could any discern your ways? You are all that is wise and charitable, and your foresight is impenetrable!”
She snagged a greasy bit of paper from a nearby table and waved it in the air. “He has discerned it somehow and means to ruin me! And he has done it publicly, taking some girl to Vauxhall as hisentertainment for the day. Why, he has even named her and had word sent to her guardians so that all may hear of it!” She sneered and read aloud from what appeared to be a stained, damaged note. “Eliza Benwick from Gracechurch street.”
Collins’ eyes widened. “I beg your pardon, My Lady?”
She continued as if she had not heard. “This Mr Gardiner shall receive not a word of notice from me. Serve him right if his ward is ruined. He ought to have guarded her better! His rights to satisfaction are nothing to mine.”
Collins had grown pale, his limbs quaking. “My Lady… may I submit my humble services to help recover Mr Darcy for our dear Miss de Bourgh? Perhaps a man of the cloth might be able to persuade him where another cannot.”
She turned and evaluated him with half a measure of approval. “A laudable notion, Mr Collins. Do go, and return this evening for my daughter’s marriage ceremony. Be certain to bring your betrothed, for Anne shall require some manner of bridesmaid.”
“Miss Elizabeth, a word, please.”
She was already two paces ahead of him, almost fleeing from him as soon as the balloon had set them down. He could think of no reason for her sudden haste, for she had truly seemed to relish the latter half of their flight, and even graciously thanked the balloon master for his troubles on her behalf. There could be no cause now for her to put it behind her so quickly, other than himself.
“Miss Elizabeth,” he pleaded again, “I beg you to hear me.”
She slowed, and he could perceive a conscious reluctance in her profile as she looked down and to the side. “Oh, not now, please.”
“I am afraid I must. I have behaved abominably, Miss Elizabeth, and I humbly beseech you to forgive me.”
She turned, but only halfway. “Was it not I who was so little in command of myself that I nearly endangered us up there?”
“We were far from danger, at least of the mortal kind. It is another danger of which I speak.”
“You must think me a fool!”
“Miss Elizabeth,” he stepped around to her face, forcing her to stop. “I think nothing of the kind. You were frightened. Is there any disgrace in that?”
A fire had sparked in her eye, and she lifted her chin with a hint of defiance. “Thereisdisgrace in tempting a respectable man to something abhorrent to him. I assure you, sir, it is not my custom to seduce men for my own purposes.”
“Seduce? Abhorrent!” He almost laughed, but the matter was too serious for that. “You mistake me, Miss Elizabeth, for I find you quite the opposite.”
“And what of my connections? Of my station in life? Can you deny that any such connection would be reprehensible to you, and to your family? Would any hold me blameless, when they knew of my circumstances, for grasping at a man so far removed from my own circles that it could only have been achieved by the vilest sort of compromise?”
“Miss Elizabeth, it was only a kiss,” he reminded her. “And if I recall, it was I who initiated it, not yourself.”
“Because my foolishness beguiled you into the act!”
He shook his head. “What is this, Miss Elizabeth? None forced me. It was my own inclinations, and I am sorry that I imposed upon you at a vulnerable moment. However, you were a willing enough participant and even seemed to enjoy the remainder of the flight holding my hands.”
“Then you believe I make a practice of wanton behaviour?”
“I could never believe that of you.”
His tones were so firm, so determined, that it seemed to jar her from her resolve to despise herself. She blinked, her lips parted, and her expression seemed to break. If he did not speak someother words of absolution, he feared that next, she would begin to cry, and that would prove his final undoing.
“Miss Elizabeth,” he spoke more gently, “have you any notion of what other women might have done in your position? Were I dependent upon another’s goodness—and I thank God that I am not!—would any other have befriended me, treated me with such unmerited regard, and bestowed on me such gentle reserve in all matters of import? No, indeed! I could never admonish a single act of yours. It is my own behaviour which troubles me.”
Her eyes, bearing that peculiar sheen which caused his inner being to twist in torment, lifted to his own. “Fear not that I will make any demands of you, sir.”
“William. I am your servant, remember?”
A hesitant smile blossomed, and she looked down to the ground. “Very well, then. William. You are quite safe from me.”
