CHAPTER ONE
SEBASTIAN
“Are you coming out tonight to the Dancing Fox?” Lilly paused her fastidious dildo placement on the shelf to look over to where I was sitting and scowling at the monitor. The store’s site had been giving me problems all day and I had promised Rose I’d have it up and running before the weekend.
“Probably not. I need to get this damn site working, plus I’m working til nine tonight doing the closing.” I really wasn’t a pub kind of guy, and I didn’t mind the extra hours. The extra cash was always handy. Rose paid us well and she’d let me rent the flat upstairs for next to nothing, but there were still bills and the everyday expenses that turned up. I mused, not for the first time, how sheltered I’d been living at home. Every bill and expense was paid for by my parents, but that had come at a cost. I was to live the life they had mapped out for me and not deviate from the path. School, University, get a good job, marry the right person, and give them the desired grandchildren to carry on the Hawthorn name. My parents’ careful planning didn’t take into consideration that my first crush would be senior maths teacher Mr Wallace, or that my first kiss would be with Toby Wiseman behind the bandstand in Crispin Park.
Lilly left the dildos she’d been carefully lining up on the display shelf to come over and lean on the counter. “Please tell me you’re not working Saturday night. You promised you would come to Crimson House with us.”
“I don’t know, I feel like I’m going to be a third wheel with you and Liz. I can’t imagine why you want me along.” Liz was Lilly’s Domme and Mummy, and both she and Lilly had gotten it into their heads that I needed to get out more—and by getting out more they meant that I needed to go with them to the exclusive Kink club they belonged to.
“Don’t be silly, you know it was Liz who suggested it. How else are you going to finally find your perfect Daddy?” Lilly was so earnest and sweet I had to smile.
“I’ve been doing okay.”
I hadn’t, though. The occasional Little date I had with Lilly and her Mummy wasn’t the same as having a caretaker of my own—well, not that I could imagine. I hadn’t had a Daddy yet, and I was starting to think that maybe it was a bit too scary to put myself out there. The few dates I’d gone on, the guys hadn’t been the sort that I had wanted to open up to about my Little side.
I fidgeted with the keyboard, avoiding Lilly’s gaze. “Seriously, I’ve been doing fine.”
Lilly shook her head fiercely and her large silver hooped earrings bounced and swung so much that I was afraid one of them was going to come flying off. “‘Fine’ is not eating microwave meals for one and watching hours of Bake Off reruns.”
I let out a snort. Of course she would call me out. As I was learning, that’s what friends did for each other. Growing up I’d had limited company, my parents carefully vetting and rejecting most people that I wanted to become close with, so having Lilly in my life had been an awakening.
“There is never a reason not to admire Paul Hollywood,” I responded airily. “And I don’t live off microwave meals.” Lilly arched her brow and I found myself backtracking. “Okay, just not all the time. I remember to eat fruit and vegetables and shit occasionally.”
“When was the last time a vegetable passed your lips? And I don’t mean the packet of crisps you had with your lunch today.” Lilly narrowed her eyes in challenge.
“Crisps,” I said, “are made from potatoes, therefore are vegetables, so I am not a liar, Ms. Smartypants.”
“Sebastian Hawthorn, you are so full of shit. Crisps don’t count. And you’re just trying to sidetrack me.” Lilly reached out and grabbed my hands. “Please Seb, come out. You promised you’d come with us Saturday night. Liz said it’s Little night, so we can use the playroom, and there will be other Littles for us to hang out with. It’ll be good for you.”
“I don’t know. You and Liz are the only two people who know about that. I’m not sure how comfortable I’d be hanging out with a bunch of strangers and it’s a kink club, Lilly. I’m going to stick out like a great big virginy bug in a rug. I’ve spent the last year and half trying to get to know myself, know the person not tangled up in all Mum and Dad’s expectations and bullshit. I didn’t want to date before now.”
Lilly giggled. “That, and you are too shy to ask boys out on dates. I don’t think virginy is a word, but I get it. You’re nervous. I was too the first time I went, but Crimson House is so cool and everyone there is super nice and supportive, and don’t forget, you speak to most of them online in the Littles’ chat group.”
If I dug my heels in and said no, I knew Lilly would respect that and leave it be. But was I really satisfied with how things were going? I knew one thing for certain. I was never going to meet the Daddy of my dreams if I kept hiding in my flat.
“Okay, fine. I’ll come. But just don’t expect miracles out of me. I’m not a social butterfly, and what I know about kinks wouldn’t fill my sippy cup,” I answered. “Now, you’ve got dildos that need putting away, and I’m going to have one last try at getting this shopping cart to work properly before I burn the whole website down.”
“Miss Rose would never forgive you,” Lilly said, moving back to the display shelf.
“Yes she would. She said she loves me most.” I laughed.
The Naughty Nook adult shop was owned by Miss Rose Devine. Rose had danced for Folies Bergère in her youth, before coming back to our tiny town of Earsling Downs and becoming the publican for the Dancing Fox pub. She had decided the area was sadly lacking in shops of an adult variety and had set out to fix that. With her loud yet loving ways, she’d somehow won the entire town over. Of course, there were still some who gave the shop the side-eye and talked about how it was a place for perverts. Miss Rose responded by having a T-shirt made up that saidPervert in Chief. The shop did a surprisingly brisk trade, mostly because of its discreet off-street parking and Rose’s no nonsense approach to business.
I owed Rose a lot. She’d found me literally on the street at my lowest point, sleeping in the bandstand—the same place I’d had my first kiss with Toby. She’d taken one look at me and dragged me back to hers. Her comforting presence and warm cocoa had drawn out the whole sorry story, and before I could blink she’d offered me a job and the flat above the store.
“We’re going to have so much fun Saturday night. Just wait til you see their Little room. Oh, and the bar sells these non-alcoholic cocktails that taste amazing. There will be people you speak to in our discord chat all the time,” Lilly said as she wrestled a particularly large and ominously shaped Bad Dragon dildo into the display cabinet.
“I suppose, but it’s different, you know, talking to people online about stuff and then face to face.” Ever since I was a child I’d hated large gatherings. Even a small group of people could inspire a sense of dread in me. My parents didn’t socialise, unless it was members of the golf club or my fathers business associates. They didn’t invite people over, and they’d strongly discouraged me from making friends at school.
“I promise if it gets too much we can leave.” Lilly answered, but I just stressed more, worrying that if I did have an attack I would ruin the night out for Lilly and Liz.
“I don’t want to ruin your night if I freak out.”
“I promise you won’t, and I’ll even help you pick out what to wear, otherwise that will be another thing you’ll end up stressing about.” She gave me a look that said ‘argue with me if you dare’ and my parents did not raise a foolish man, so I wisely nodded and agreed. Besides, she was right. Iwouldspend the day worrying about what I was going to wear.
“Don’t forget, next week Rose wants us to decorate the shop for the holidays. It’s only a week until Christmas and we’re running behind,” Lilly said, grinning. The holidays were her favourite time of the year, second only to Halloween.
