Daddy's brow furrowed, and he shook his head. “No. I suspected something pretty hellish had gone down, but I didn'twant to pry. I wanted you to feel comfortable enough with us to tell me in your own time.”
“When I was sixteen, I fell in love hard with a boy at school. He was my first everything, and when we weren't studying, or in his case playing rugby, we were together. Back then, we had to hide what we were doing. The town was nowhere near as accepting as it is now. Ethan and I had all these plans. We were going to go off to uni together and get a flat, you know all the sappy romantic shit.” Perry's arms tightened around me. I was thankful for his quiet comfort.
“Well, somehow, my parents found out and were horrified. They screamed about the shame my sick perversion was bringing on the family and before I knew it, I was shipped off to a hellish private boarding school to finish my schooling. I never got to say goodbye to Ethan.”
“I'm so sorry you had to go through that.” Perry hugged me tighter, and I clung to him for a moment, seeking solace in his arms.
“When I was allowed back for some family event, I snuck away. Ethan's parents were not as ignorant or hateful as mine and had tried to help get letters to me, but I found out by accident the school headmaster had been intercepting them and burning them. I panicked. What if Ethan thought I was ignoring him or no longer loved him? All I could think of doing was to run to their house when I got back to Tewsbury.” I lost myself in the memories for a moment. I remembered like it was yesterday how the sun felt as I ran up the hill towards Ethan's house.
A gentle touch from Perry, and I was back to myself. He'd turned the oven off and gently led me to the sofa.
“What happened then?”
“Ethan’s mum was home and when she saw me, she burst into tears. That was when she told me Ethan had passed away. And because of my parents and that god awful school, I never got totell him I still loved him or to say goodbye.” A long-repressed sob broke through me, and Perry held me tight while I fought the storm of emotions. Perry kissed my head and rocked me, and, in that moment, I knew he was the best of men.
“I'm okay, Daddy. It's just hard remembering back then. My parents took that happiness away from me. Emotionally, I shut down after that, never really giving my whole self to any relationship. I was always afraid that it would be gone in a blink of an eye.” Shaking my head, I looked at Perry. “But I don't want to hold back from you. You make me feel like I haven’t in years, and it's fucking terrifying, but I'm excited.”
Perry's eyes crinkled in the corners, and he took my hands in his. “I'm so sorry your parents are such arseholes. Do you really have to attend the dinner with them?”
I squeezed his hands. “Sadly, I do, if only to support Anne. She won't have her husband’s support as he’s deployed again. This will be the final time though. I'm through feeling obligated to them. Yes, they paid for my university, but I paid them back in full. I can't tell you how many meals consisted of pot noodles, so they were paid back every cent.”
Perry hugged me tightly, “You are amazing, and I’m going to be right by your side when you face your family.”
“Thank you, Daddy.” I wiped my eyes. “I need to serve your dinner now.” The need to serve, to be of use, to my Daddy hit me strongly. I wanted to show him how much he already meant to me.
“Are you sure, sweetheart?”
“Daddy, nothing will make me feel better than serving you.” I got up and went through to the kitchen. Luckily, the lasagna was cooked perfectly and hadn't gotten cold by the time we finished talking. I carried the plates and salads through and set Daddy's place at the table.
“Why is there only one plate, Pet?” Daddy stood by the table and looked down at my cushion, then back at me, a soft smile tugging at his lips.
“Well, Daddy, I thought—” Damn this had seemed like a perfect idea when I'd thought about it earlier. Having my Daddy feed me was something I'd dreamt about. But now, here in this moment, I was nervous to ask. It wasn't butterflies that danced in my stomach, it was a damn herd of elephants.
“Cullen, I need you to tell me in words what you want.” I shivered under Daddy's intense gaze, his blue eyes taking in everything and missing nothing.
“I want you to feed me. Please, Daddy.” I moved around the table and pulled a chair out for him. Daddy touched my cheek softly before he took his seat.
Moving around, I served him a slice of lasagna and filled his small side plate with salad.
“I've made fresh garlic rolls to go with the pasta. I just need to get them.”
I turned to move, but Daddy grabbed my hand. “This looks spectacular, Princess.”
The praise was like a bolt straight to my pleasure centre. I want nothing more than to climb into Daddy's arms, but not yet. Tonight, I am going to spoil him and show him the other side of my nature.
“Thank you, Daddy. I'll be right back.” I rushed to the kitchen and then returned with the rolls, carefully placing them close to Daddy's plate, then I knelt on my cushion and waited for Daddy to start eating. I kept my eyes lowered, sinking into my headspace. It wasn't quite like my slave space. It felt different, like my boy side and my slave side had mixed, and at the end, all I wanted was to serve and please my Daddy.
“Princess, lift your eyes, please.” Daddy held out a forkful of salad. I opened my mouth and let him feed me. There wassomething intensely intimate about being hand fed. After every bite Daddy took, he would lower his fork to my mouth, and I would eat. Daddy talked about his day and spending time with his mum. I liked the sound of his parents, they seemed fun and kind, not like mine at all.
“Mum has asked us to attend the ball. I didn't say yes as I wanted to check with you first.” Perry lowered his fork to my mouth, and I slowly took the morsel of lasagna. The rich sauce dripped onto my lips, and I licked it slowly, Daddy's eyes tracking the movements.
“Will we get to dress up?” I was excited about the prospect of getting to show off my Daddy. I smiled imagining him dressed up in a fine suit. He would look sexy as hell.
“Yes, we would, and I've had some ideas about that. You expressed a desire to feel like a princess and that pretty skirts were a sometimes thing for you.” I smiled at what Daddy was hinting at.
“That would be amazing but what would your parents think?” Being able to express that side of myself would be freeing and exhilarating, but I didn't want to see my Daddy suffer any prejudice from his family. I know all too well how much it hurts to have a family turn on you because you don't fit a particular mould.
I had no need to be worried. Perry smiled broadly. Reaching down, he stroked my face, sending a burst of warmth through my chest at the affectionate gesture. “My mother would say you looked beautiful and mean it, then ask your thoughts on the government’s latest mess-ups and what you preferred at Christmas over your pudding, brandy butter or custard.”
