As her fingers curled around the metal, his fingertips skimmed up the side of her hand until they got to her wrist. Then he gave her a gentle tug—so tentative it was almost an unspoken question—and she answered by moving forward.
Her body tensed in anticipation of his kiss, and she closed her eyes as his mouth covered hers. One of his hands was still holding her wrist, but the other cupped her face. His mouth wasn’t forceful against hers, but it wasn’t too sweet, either. And as he kissed her, a rush of desire she hadn’t felt in many years swept through her.
But then he broke off the kiss, and Laney opened her eyes to see him looking at her mouth and he wasn’t exactly frowning, but he didn’t look happy.
“I’m sorry, Laney.” His hands fell away from her and he took a step back. “I shouldn’t have done that.”
Ouch.“Don’t be sorry.”
“No, I shouldn’t have done that.” He blew out a breath and then scrubbed a hand over his face. “I mean, I...dammit. I’m screwing this up.”
He looked miserable, so she felt sorry for him and decided to help him out. “Are you trying to tell me you didn’t want to kiss me and accidentally did, or that you’re worried I didn’t want to kissyou?”
“Oh, no. I wanted to kiss you. I wanted to so much it seemed like kissing you was all I’ve thought about lately. But I have no idea if you wanted me to.”
“I did,” she admitted, because she wasn’t going to let him beat himself up over something they both wanted. “But, that doesn’t mean it was a good idea. I’m not...looking to date anybody, you know?”
“I do know.” His smile was genuine, reaching his eyes. “Okay, so I’m not sorry I kissed you. But I’ll try not to do it again.”
That should have made her happy, but she knew her smile probably didn’t look as real as his had. “We’ll probably be seeing a lot of each other and it’ll just be easier that way.”
Easier in some ways, maybe, but Laney knew when she crawled into her bed tonight, she was going to think about his kiss and ache for more.
“I have to go see Andy for a few minutes, and then I’ll be out of here.” He grabbed the envelope off the seat of the chair. “I’ll probably be by in the next couple of days to see Sean, though.”
“It’s going to be a fun couple of weeks. I hope.”
“It will be. I just don’t want to make things awkward.”
“Ben, it’s fine. It was a kiss. A reallygreatkiss but, still, we don’t have to let it make things awkward between us. I don’t want that.”
“Me, either.” He slapped the envelope against his palm and looked as if he was going to say more, but then he sighed. “Good night, Laney.”
“Good night.”
She watched him leave and, once he’d disappeared beyond the trees, she pressed her fingers to her mouth.
It hadn’t just been a great kiss. It had been amazing, and she wanted more. She wanted to know what his hair felt like sliding through her fingers. She wanted to run her hands over his arms and his back, and feel his taut muscles.
Instead, the next time she saw him, she was going to smile and make conversation, because no matter how much she wanted him, she hadn’t been lying. She wasn’t ready to date anybody. Not the kind of dating that was meant to become a real relationship, and she had a strong feeling that’s where Ben was in his life.
But she wasn’t there yet.
