Chapter Fifteen
Emma
Their time in Whitford was almost over, and the closer it got to time to say goodbye, the more anxious Emma became. She felt at any random moment the conversation would turn to the lodge and Sean would finally say it.I’d like to raise my son here.
She loved Whitford. She loved the Northern Star. But she didn’t want to live there. They lived in the house she’d been raised in—the house she’d fought so hard to keep—so she knew the pull a house and its history could have on a person. And while he had his aunt and uncle and his cousins in New Hampshire, the fact Rosie and his brothers and sister were here probably added to that pull.
The camper door opened and Sean stepped inside. “Are you going to come have breakfast? There are roughly a thousand pancakes, but you know how fast the bacon goes.”
“Yeah, I was just cleaning up a bit. Where’s Johnny?”
“He’s helping Rosie with the syrup.”
Emma winced. That cleanup was going to require copious amounts of hot water. “I’ll be out in a minute.”
“What’s going on with you, Em? Are you feeling okay?”
“Yeah.” She gave him a smile, but she didn’t have to see his face to know it had been a weak attempt.
“Talk to me. Something’s been wrong most of this trip, and it’s time to talk about it because it’s getting worse. Is it Paige and Katie being pregnant?”
She shook her head. “No. I mean, I’m jealous. I really want another baby.”
“We’ll keep trying, Emma. And if it doesn’t happen, we can talk about other options. I know it’s important to you that Johnny have a brother or sister. Or two, even. I want that, too.”
“I know. And maybe you were right the other day. Maybe we’ll have a Northern Star baby.”
He tilted his head, frowning a little. “Okay, I don’t know what it is, but I know we’re hitting close on whatever it is. You had a weird tone, but I can’t figure out why conceiving a child here would be a bad thing.”
“It wouldn’t.” She knew Sean wasn’t going to let it go now. He was worried and he wouldn’t leave the camper without an answer. “When I watch you here, with Rosie and your brothers and Liz, I feel like youbelonghere. And when you talk to Johnny about the house and the land, and show him where you did things when you were a kid, I... I don’t know. I feel like you want to raiseyourson here.”
“Is that what’s been bothering you this whole time?”
“Not bothering me, exactly. It’s just something I’ve noticed.” When he didn’t respond, she finally gave a little shrug of one shoulder. “Okay, maybe it’s been bothering me a little.”
“This isn’t the first time we’ve been here. Why now?”
She tried not to focus on the fact he hadn’t denied it. “It’s the first time we’ve been here long enough to really relax and settle in. And Johnny’s getting older now. He holds your hand and walks with you and you look so proud when you’re showing him around.”
“Iamproud. I walked away from this place for a long time, but now that I’m older and wiser—or older, at least—I’m glad we didn’t sell it. I’m grateful my brothers busted their asses bringing it back to what it used to be and then expanding it. It’s part of who I am and, yes, I’m proud to share it with my son. And with my wife.”
Emma blinked, but the tears welling up and blurring her vision didn’t go away. “You’re so happy here.”
He used his thumb to gently wipe away a tear that spilled over onto her cheek. “Emma, come on, honey. What is this? Of course I’m happy here. We’re onvacation.”
“You want Johnny to have a pirate ship.”
“You’re freaking right I do. Whowouldn’twant a pirate ship in the backyard? I wish my brothers and I had a pirate ship when we were kids. We could have tied Katie to the mast and held her hostage until Liz pillaged cookies from the house to ransom her.” She gave him a look and he stopped talking for a second. “Okay, I might have digressed there for a minute.”
“See? You can see your son growing up here like you did.”
“No, Emma. I see my son spending vacations here and being a pirate and riding a four-wheeler so fast I want to puke and stealing cookies from Rosie’s kitchen. I might even see him staying here an extra couple of weeks each summer when he’s old enough. But I don’t see usmovinghere. Is that what you think I want?”
“Sometimes it seemed like you want to and it scares me. I love our home, but I want you to be happy and... I’ve been worried that for the first time, what makes you happy and what makes me happy weren’t going to be the same thing.”
“We’ve built a life together, you and me. We have a son. We have businesses. I don’t want to walk away from that. And I know how much that house means to you. You made up an imaginary fiancé to keep your grandmother from selling it.”
“You weren’t imaginary—”
