“I’ll grab you a towel and you can change her in the guest bedroom,” Ben said.
Laney picked up the veggie platter. “I’ll take this outside, and see you out there.”
He smiled at her before disappearing down the hallway, but it was nothing like the smile he’d given her when she first walked into the room.
* * *
Ben watched family and friends milling around the yard, enjoying good food and good company. The entire time, he was aware of Laney. Sometimes she was at his side, but others she roamed through the crowd, talking to friends she’d made in Whitford.
And the entire time, he could only think about the fact the woman he was pretty sure he was in love with hadn’t liked being called his girlfriend. And this was happening at a celebration of forty years of his parents being in love with each other. It felt wrong.
He could tell himself he understood her reservation. She’d felt diminished by her first marriage—almost erased somehow—and she hadn’t felt strong enough to let another man in. But the pull had been too strong between them and now he was stuck half in and half out of her life.
All summer, he’d told himself to be patient. If he gave her the space she needed to feel like herself again, she’d realize they had a really good thing together. It hadn’t been easy, but she was worth it.
But even now, she was thrown by being called his girlfriend. And it hurt. He hadn’t been prepared for the emotions that had swept through him in the kitchen. Disbelief. Anger. But most of all, more hurt than he was sure he could handle.
“They’re getting ready to bring the cakes out.”
Ben turned to Jimmy, surprised to see him there. He’d been watching Laney talking to Matt and Hailey, idly scratching behind their black Lab’s ears. “Is it time already?”
“Are you okay?”
“Sure. It’s just been a long day.”
“Bullshit. Are you and Laney having problems?”
Ben wasn’t sure there reallywasa him and Laney, but he didn’t want to get into it standing in the middle of his parents’ yard with a bunch of people around them. “We’re just kind of...casually dating or whatever. It’s not a big deal.”
“To which I say bullshit again, but I can see you don’t want to talk about it right now. I guess the next best thing is cake.”
“I want a corner piece since I’m going to have to listen to you sing.”
They were laughing when Chelsea and Denise carried the cakes out. One was a traditional three-layer cake with birthday wishes across the top. The other was a large sheet cake wishing them a happy anniversary and covered with a photo from their wedding day. As they all gathered around to sing, Ben wasn’t surprised to see tears in his mom’s eyes. And when his dad put his arm around his wife’s shoulders and kissed her cheek, Ben thought he might get a little choked up himself.
They’d argued, of course. They’d lived out both sides of their wedding vows. The sickness and the health. The better and the worse. But there had never been a day in Ben’s life he doubted his parents loved each other.
That’s what he wanted.
When Laney appeared at his side, he managed a smile, but he didn’t reach for her hand as he usually would. She knew, he thought. He could tell by the way she looked at him, with questions and uncertainty in her eyes, that she knew their relationship had shifted today.
He was looking at the amount of food left on the folding tables next to the garage, debating on bringing the cold items inside, when she appeared beside him and put her hand on his arm. There didn’t appear to be anybody within earshot, since most of the remaining guests were under the canopies.
“I think I’m going to go,” she said quietly. “I don’t think there’s anything I can say to fix whatever’s happening right now.”
“There is, but you won’t trust yourself to say it. Or maybe I’m seeing things that aren’t really there because I want to so badly. I don’t know.”
Her lips pressed together, and he hoped like hell she wasn’t going to cry, because he wouldn’t be able to stand that. “You once told me you’d give me whatever I wanted, butonlywhat I wanted.”
“I did. And I meant it at the time. But I can’t keep doing this, Laney. I can’t pretend I’m okay with you keeping me at arm’s distance and the fact you’re still determined to go back to Rhode Island when the season’s over. I’m more than a rebound guy. I’m more than a summer fling. But you can’t accept that and I’m not going to stand here and pretend I’m okay with it on a day dedicated to the love and commitment my parents have shared with each other for forty years.”
“I’m scared, Ben.”
“I know, but I don’t know what else I can do. If you’re not willing to stay here and take the chance, there’s nothing else I can say.”
“I don’t want to stay for you. I need to want to stay forme.”
“And I don’t want you to stay for me, either. I want you to stay forus.”
