Anything to keep his mind off the fact the woman he loved was so close his body ached with the need to see her.
* * *
Laney knew Ben was at the Northern Star. She’d caught a glimpse of his SUV through the trees and her breath had caught up in her throat so hard she’d stopped walking for a few seconds.
God, she missed him.
But she forced herself to keep walking to her camper. She cleaned up because some jobs in a campground were a little more unsavory than others. Then she sat at her dinette and asked herself what the hell she was going to do.
Option one was to hide in her camper until she was sure he was gone, sneak into Rosie’s kitchen and steal some cookies, and then crawl into her bed and cry.
Option two was to go find some physical labor to do or maybe take a long walk so her body would be so exhausted her thoughts couldn’t torment her anymore.
Option three was to go find Ben and tell him she loved him.
The third option scared the hell out of her, but she’d spent the last two weeks missing him desperately. She learned that loving Ben didn’t take over her life. It didn’t diminish her. He made her life better, and she was stronger and happier with him.
If she went to him and he rejected what she had to say...it would be crushing. But she’d hurt so badly the last two weeks, she knew it was worth the chance. And if he turned her away, she’d survive. She’d keep doing what she was doing. Working. Walking. She’d get through it, and at least she’d know she’d tried.
Movement caught her eye and she looked at the little dancing pink flamingo sitting on the windowsill at the end of the dinette. It had been sunny for days, and he was flapping his wings like he really believed he could fly, with that goofy smile on his face.
It madehersmile, and that broke her. Ben knew her. He knew what made her happy and what made her smile. And, tired and stressed after a hard medical call, he’d taken the time to buy a silly dancing flamingo just because he knew it would make her smile.
It was tempting to spend a little more time in her camper. She could put on a little makeup to hide her tired eyes. Or rehearse what she wanted to say. But if she went out there and he was already gone, she might not have the courage to get in her car and go after him.
She was halfway across the lawn, her hands balled into fists so tightly her fingernails were pressing into her palms, when the kitchen door opened and Ben stepped out. Stopping in her tracks, she watched him close the door and then take a deep breath, as if he was steadying himself.
Then he started walking, not toward his SUV, but toward her. And he slowed when he saw her, but kept moving. His eyes never left hers, and she exhaled a slow, shuddering breath. His look was questioning, and she realized he might not know she hadn’t been on her way to the lodge, but was specifically looking for him.
“I came to tell you I’m in love with you,” she said, not wanting there to be any doubt.
The lines in his face softened, and his lips curved into a smile. When he reached her, he took her hand and uncurled her fingers so he could lace his with hers.
“I think I miss holding your hand more than anything else,” he said. “That connection. The reassurance of touching you. It grounds me somehow.”
“I’m sorry I hurt you,” she whispered. “I panicked and it was stupid and—”
“It wasn’t stupid. You weren’t ready.”
“I’m ready now. I want to make my life here, in Whitford, with you. If you still want me.”
He kissed her, his mouth crushing hers as his hand squeezed hers. When she was breathless, he broke it off and smiled at her. “I will always want you. We have what it takes, Laney. You just have to trust in me. Trust inus.”
“I trust you. I don’t know if I’ve ever trusted anybody in my life the way I trust you. But I needed to trust myself. I felt like I had to know that I would do what was best forme, not to make anybody else happy. And I got so hung up on finding myself, whatever that’s supposed to mean, that I almost missed finding myself happiness.”
With his free hand, he tucked her hair behind her ear and then traced the line of her jaw. “Laney Caswell, will you be my girlfriend?”
Laughter bubbled up through the tears and she nodded. “I want to be your girlfriend more than anything.”
“I love you,” he said, his expression growing more serious. “I love everything about you. I love your laugh and your questionable taste in TV shows and that bright pink makes you happy. There’s nothing about you I would change.”
She kissed him this time, slowly and relishing every second of it. “We can paint one of my chairs blue if, you want. His and hers.”
“Not a chance. The pink makes you smile and when you smile, I smile. Forty years from now, we’ll be sitting in those pink chairs, holding hands, and I’ll still feel like the luckiest man alive when you smile at me.”
“You’re talking your way into an invitation to spend the night with me, you know.”
“And Rosie didn’t even have to hit me with a wooden spoon.”
She grinned. “I wonder if they come in pink.”
