“I don’t know.” He leaned back, looking her in the eye. “I’m happy for Amber and Jason, but the family dynamic... I don’t know how to explain it, I guess.”
“I guess it’s a pretty solid sign she’s definitely moved on.”
He chuckled, surprising her. “I think that point was made when she married Jason.”
“True.”
He rested his hand on top of hers. “I’m not hung up on my ex, Olivia. I promise. I’m always going to care about her. We were together for a long time and she’s the mother of my children. But even if there was no Jason and no baby on the way, Amber and I would never get back together.”
“Okay.” She couldn’t hold back a burst of nervous, relieved laughter. “I know I shouldn’t have gone there in my head, but I don’t... You said your divorce was amicable and I know you’re still both with Village Hearts. And you never complain about her, which is something I can’t even wrap my head around, so I guess it’s hard for me to get a grasp on your relationship with her.”
“We’re actually friends again, but we weren’t for a while. We were unhappy and we didn’t like each other anymore, but we called it quits before either of us did something that would escalate it to the kind of hate and hurt it’s hard to come back from. We worked at it and over time, we rebuilt the friendship. We just didn’t do well as husband and wife, other than having Julia and Isaac.”
She nodded, because there was a lump in her throat that made her uncertain of her ability to speak.
This man had been in her life for a month. They’d been dating seriously for a couple of weeks. It wasn’t very long, but it wasn’t really about the timeframe. It didn’t feel like a fling. There wasn’t anything casual about their determination to spend as much time together as they could. It felt as if they had a commitment to each other and the relationship they were building.
But he had essentially divided his life into two boxes. In one box was Olivia. In the other was a life she was totally separated from. She’d seen glimpses of it—working with Village Hearts and meeting the guys he worked with—but he hadn’t shared the most important things in his life with her.
As long as he kept her separated from them, he was keeping her separated from some of the most important parts of himself and eventually they’d just be spinning their wheels going nowhere.
“I told you about the baby for a reason,” he said, his thumb making circles on the back of her hand. “It’s a lot for the kids. They’ve had a lot of change and this is a big one, and I’m kind of the one thing in their lives that hasn’t changed.”
“You haven’t told them you’re dating me.”
He winced. “I hadn’t yet, but I was going to because I want to keep seeing you as long as you’ll put up with me. And then, when they told me Amber was having a baby, Julia told me she was glad I don’t have a girlfriend.”
“Ouch.”
“I just couldn’t... I will.” He squeezed her hand, making eye contact with her. “I’m not putting my life—ourlives—on hold because Amber’s pregnant. When Julia told me she was glad I don’t have a girlfriend, I couldn’t bring myself to correct her when I could see they were already off-kilter. Isaac was asking me how I’ll be related to the new baby. It was just a lot.”
Olivia had caught the way he saidour livesand it was enough for now. Derek was as aware of the separation in his life as she was, and he cared that it was a problem in their relationship. He was trying.
“I get it,” she said. “They’re already confused, so I understand.”
“I’ll tell them very soon. Iwantto. Amber and I will help them wrap their head around the baby thing and then it’ll be okay. They’re good kids.”
“I’m sure they are. They have a great dad.”
He grinned, and then lifted the back of her hand to his mouth. “Thank you.”
She smiled back, but butterflies danced in her stomach. They did every time Derek talked about the two people he loved more than anything else in the world. What if they didn’t like her?
What if she didn’t like them?
Maybe that wasn’t the right question. There was no reason at all she would dislike his children. But what if Derek put them all in the same box and there wasn’t enough room? What if they didn’t all fit?
“On a lighter note, the guys and I are going to a ball game Wednesday,” he said, relaxing in his chair.
Fighting back the panic that had been rising, Olivia forced herself to put her doubts out of her mind. “What kind of ball?”
He chuckled, shaking his head. “The best kind of ball. Baseball. The Yankees are coming to Fenway.”
“Oh, I know this one. They’re your big rivals.”
“Ourbig rivals. You live in Boston now.” He winked, which made her laugh and a lot of the tension melted away.
“So baseball’s your favorite sport to watch?” she asked.
