And wondering what he’d really been about to say.
* * *
Derek battled a bad case of the nerves on the elevator ride to Olivia’s floor, but this time it had nothing to do with the fancy building or breathtaking view.
He’d almost told her he loved her. The words had actually started coming out of his mouth, but his brain had finally caught up with his mouth and put a stop to it. He wasn’t sure if he’d covered well or not, since the panic made it hard to think.
Not that he didn’t want to say the words. He loved Olivia. There was no sense in trying to deny it anymore. But he didn’t want to tell her over the phone, when she was fourteen hundred miles away, give or take a few.
He wanted to be holding her when he said it. He wanted to watch her face and see her reaction to the words in her eyes. And now that he’d been thinking about it since his near slip on the phone last night, it wasallhe could think about and he was afraid he was just going to blurt it out at an awkward moment.
As he knocked, he reminded himself it didn’t have to be tonight. Maybe the right moment would come and maybe it wouldn’t. If not, he’d wait because he wanted it to be special.
When she opened the door and her eyes widened, his three-little-words nerves gave way to a self-consciousness. Other than his Class A uniform, he only owned one real suit and he was pretty sure the only time he’d worn it in the last ten years had been to funerals. It was a little dated and wearing it made him uncomfortable, though he couldn’t say if it was that he hated suits or the fact it was usually associated with somebody dying.
He’d settled for khakis, a dress shirt and a sport coat he’d bought for family court during the divorce. It wasn’t up to par with the suits walking around this part of the city, but she could see he’d made an effort for her. And if she wanted to go to one of those snobby restaurants, it counted. He also had a tie in his pocket he’d like to avoid putting on. But he had it.
“You dressed up,” she said, her welcoming smile broadening into a grin.
“I tried.” And it had been worth the effort because she was wearing a gorgeous sundress with one of those short, open sweaters over it that framed her breasts perfectly. And she had on summery high heels that showed off her teal toenail polish. “You look beautiful. And I missed you.”
She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. “I missed you, too. Now that you’re here, I’m almost sorry I made reservations.”
“Trust me when I tell you I can be quick.”
“If I hadn’t put time into looking like this, I’d be tempted.”
“So we’ll go eat and after, I’ll be able to take my time peeling you out of that dress. Should we take your car or mine?” he joked, because his car didn’t really fit in here.
“It’s a short walk. The weather’s nice.” She kissed him again before going to retrieve a small handbag from the counter. “We can hold hands.”
The restaurant was the kind he’d seen in movies, with the snooty guy who made sure you knew you weren’t worthy of his time before reluctantly showing you to your table. That kind of attitude made Derek want to act like an ass, but this was Olivia’s neighborhood and he didn’t want to embarrass her.
“Isn’t it beautiful here?” She looked around, smiling. “The food’s not quite as good as that place you’ve taken me, but the woodwork in here is stunning. And the art.”
Things he generally looked for in a museum, not a restaurant, but he agreed it was beautiful and opened his menu.
Holy shit.Did these people pay this much for dinner on a regular basis? He looked around, but nobody seemed to be celebrating anything in particular. Nothing that screamed special occasion. It was just a bunch of people eating food. Very expensive food.
He turned his attention to Olivia as she opened the menu, expecting her eyes to get wide. Maybe she’d lean across the table and whisper something funny or outraged about the ridiculous prices. But she didn’t even blink.
Because she was one of these people, he reminded himself. She was one of the people who could eat in a place like this without calculating how many hours’ worth of wages the meal would cost.
“What are you going to have?” she asked, looking up from the menu.
A glass of water and a package of oyster crackers?“I haven’t decided yet. What do you recommend?”
The way she reeled off several dishes she correctly thought would tempt him confirmed it. This wasn’t her first time in this restaurant. Or even her second or third. This place, with its meal prices that exceeded the weekly grocery budgets of some people he knew, was a part of Olivia’s everyday life.
It didn’t matter, he reminded himself. Trying to convince himself Olivia didn’t care about the material things that surrounded her was becoming a habit, but he was going to keep doing it because the alternative meant he was screwed. He’d been with the department a long time. He made good money and got good benefits, but unless he won the lottery, this kind of lifestyle was out of his reach. And she sure as hell wasn’t going to give all this up to move into his second-floor apartment.
“Derek?”
He looked across the table at her and didn’t have to force the smile that erased the slight concern in her expression. Right now, all that mattered was that he was here with the most gorgeous woman in the room. He’d missed her and he’d pay their ridiculous prices if it meant making her happy.
“I’m trying to decide what to have,” he lied. “Everything sounds good.”
Once he decided to relax and enjoy Olivia’s company, things improved. She told him about the people she met in Kansas City, and he teased her for never leaving the hotel to go in search of good Kansas City barbecue. She laughed a lot, looking beautiful in the fancy lighting setup the restaurant had.
