“I’m going to ask you one question, Derek, and you know I’ll know if you lie to me. Do you love her? Yes or—”
“Yes.” He didn’t even have to think about it. He knew it without question.
“Then stop twisting yourself up. Remember when we sat down together and admitted to ourselves and to each other that the best way to take care of our kids was to take care of ourselves first? It’s still true. Take care of you, be happy and the kids will be happy.”
“Thank you, Amber.”
“Hey, you know I’m always happy to give you a kick in the ass.”
* * *
During the time between being notified Derek was on his way up and when he knocked on her door, Olivia stood in front of her windows and centered herself. She felt a little stronger than she had at the benefit, but with strength came hope.
The hope still scared her. But she wasn’t ready to give up on them. And she believed the man she’d fallen in love with wouldn’t put them through the wringer again for no reason. They’d already dumped all the issues in a tangled mess on the table. Now they were hopefully going to sift through them and find a solution.
She’d done nothing special for today. She was wearing her yoga pants and a long scoop-necked sweatshirt. Her hair was loose and she had no makeup on. Her feet were bare. And when she opened the door and saw him in worn jeans and a T-shirt, she was relieved he’d done the same. No fuss. No grand gestures. Just their two everyday selves.
“Come on in,” she said, closing the door after him. “I have a glass of wine going, but you can help yourself to anything you want.”
“I’m good, thanks.” He looked around and then gave her a ghost of a teasing smile. “I thought you might have hung a big whiteboard up, with plans and arrows and stuff.”
“I thought about it,” she said, returning the smile. “But I didn’t make a plan for tonight because then it would bemyplan. The whole point is to come up withourplan, together.”
“Together is the most important thing to me,” he said. “I’ve done a lot of soul searching. I’ve gotten a verbal ass-kicking from Amber. Which probably sounds weird, but obviously nobody knows my kids like their mother.”
“I get it.” She gestured toward the couch because it felt too formal and strange standing in her living room. “Sit down, for goodness’ sake. This doesn’t have to be weird.”
“I want you to know I’m ready to do whatever you need me to do,” he said, and her heart skipped a beat. “I’ll move here. Whatever’s going to make you happy.”
“Derek.” She reached across the space between them and took his hand. “I don’t want you to do whatever it takes to make me happy. I want us to figure out what’s best forusand for our family. And I don’t think it’s here. I don’t think Isaac and Julia would feel at home in this building and I don’t want them on company manners.”
The relief in his face was obvious, but she also didn’t doubt the sincerity of his offer. He was willing to make that sacrifice for her. But she didn’t want sacrifice. She wanted compromise.
“I know my place doesn’t work,” he said. “And not because it’s nothing like this place, but because it literally won’t work. There’s no room for you to have an office and even if you kept this place, you’d still need a space for that at home. And one bathroom’s not fun.”
“I do think a long-term plan includes a home office space and a master bath, yes.”
“I’m sorry I said a man needs to be able to take care of his family. It was pride and it was stupid. The truth isweneed to be able to take care ofourfamily. Who writes the check doesn’t matter as much as finding a place we both love.”
Her heart was beating so fast, she was surprised she didn’t pass out. This was what she almost hadn’t dared hope for. “I’m promoting Kelsey. She’s going to take on some of the workload that I’ve held on to simply because I thought I had to. Because we don’t need a place open to the public, she was able to find an affordable office space, just big enough for the three of us to work out of, since we’re going to hire an assistant for her. My career is still important to me, but I’ll be able to be more flexible. And I can focus more on the writing and other things that don’t require running around the city to keep appointments scheduled so tightly I can’t stop for a slice of pizza.”
He squeezed her hand. “Is that what you want to do?”
“I’m doing that no matter what. It’s time and Kelsey’s earned it.” She took a deep breath. “And the rent on this apartment is ridiculous. I’d rather invest that money in a home that works for our entire family.”
He struggled with that one for a few seconds, but she was quiet and let him work through it in his mind. Pride wasn’t an easy thing to set aside, but then he nodded.
“That view, though,” he said.
“You know what’s an even better view?” She squeezed his hand. “You, in Aidan’s backyard, chasing your kids with a water gun and laughing so hard you fell down. And you, when I wake up and you’re the first thing I see.”
“I want to wake up next to you for the rest of my life.”
“I know Isaac and Julia are eight and ten and... I need to know if you want more kids.”
“I do. When you’re ready, we’ll go for it.”
“You’re not worried about how much age difference there will be between them?”
