“I’m not that young. And I’m fine.”
“I left my extremely hot wife at home and put on pants and drove all the way over here.”
“Okay, I can probably manage one beer’s worth of not fine, just so you didn’t put on pants for no reason.”
Once they each had a can of beer and were sitting—Grant on the couch and Rick in the recliner because he’d moved faster—Grant started talking. He hadn’t even realized how much he needed somebody to talk to until the words started coming out of his mouth.
He told Rick everything. About the asshole Ben from Virginia. Her fears. The way breakfast had ended. The trip to Walmart to get a new life starter kit, as she’d called it. Her finding out the apartment and everything in it were a total loss, but her car was okay. And her promise to spend another night on Gavin and Cait’s couch while she decided what to do next.
“I don’t want her living in another death trap,” he said. “She might be able to get some assistance with a security deposit and whatnot for a new place, but I want it to be decent. And of course she won’t let me give her any money.”
“Okay, but how are you?”
Grant downed some beer before answering that question. “I don’t know, really. I told her I’ve missed her and that I want to get to know her again now that she doesn’t have any secrets. We’re going to try to be friends.”
Rick nodded before sipping his beer. It was tempting for Grant to fill the silence, but he resisted the urge. The older guy had gone to some effort to drive over and be a shoulder to lean on, so he could damn well do the work of offering the shoulder.
“Friends, huh?”
He was going to have to do better than that. “Yup.”
“You okay with that?”
“I’m not okay with not being friends with her.”
Rick pinched the bridge of his nose. “I don’t know what that means.”
“I don’t, either, really. I’m not walking away from her. But I also know our relationship before wasn’t what I thought it was.”
“Because she broke it off?”
“Because if the love between us had been as real as I thought it was, she would have trusted me to be able to handle an asshole ex-boyfriend.”
“People do weird things when they’re afraid. You know that. Hell, you’ve seen some of the crazy shit that happens on scenes.” Rick shrugged. “On the other hand, I can see where you’re coming from. It’s hard to trust somebody who’s hurt you like that.”
“I need to solve the Ben problem.”
The LT made a noise that sounded a lot like disagreement. “There’s not a lot you can do about that guy without getting yourself in trouble. And it doesn’t sound like he’s the real problem, anyway. Even if that problem got resolved somehow, the emotional crap between you won’t be magically healed.”
Emotional crap. That was one way to put it. “Maybe not, but at least she’ll be free to stop worrying about him and figure out what she wants.”
“And if it’s not you?”
Grant squashed the impulse to shrug off the question or give a wise-ass response. One, because he appreciated the two LTs checking on him and the effort Rick put into it. And two, because they’d put up with his shitty attitude and anger after Wren left, and they’d helped put him back on track before he threw everything away.
“I don’t know if it’ll be me or not. To be totally honest, I’m not sure if I even want it to be me. I’m still reeling. But if we’re not meant to be together, I want us to go our separate ways with all the facts on the table and the knowledge that we both tried.”
“Do you think you can move past the way she broke it off? Because you can’t just say you forgive her. You have to accept it and let it go or it won’t work.”
“I don’t know.” Grant drained the last of his beer. “That’s the only answer I have, LT.”
“Then it’s the right answer. You’re not going to figure it out overnight. Just do yourself—and her—a favor and keep it in your pants until you do know the answer. Don’t make it messier than it already is.”
Messy was a good word for his life right now. His thoughts. His emotions. Everything was a mess.
“You know there’s an option between walking away from her and diving back into the deep end right?” Rick set his can on the side table before leaning forward with his forearms on his knees. “Gavin and Cait can help her out. Hell, we’ll all be there if she needs something, but you don’t have to be involved.”
“I can’t walk away from her.”
