She’d missed seeing him at dinner. While she was glad he and his kids were having a great time together, she’d been disappointed when Rosie told her Ian had sent a message letting him know they’d already eaten.
“Sounds like somebody’s heading toward the dining room,” she said, trying to come off as nonchalant.
Apparently she failed because Rosie gave her a knowing look. “That man is exactly what you need in your life.”
Nola scoffed even though her hormones definitely agreed with the woman. “You know nothing about him, Rosie. How could you possibly know he’s what I need?”
“Because I’ve seen the way that man looks at you and trust me, honey, every woman needsthatin her life.” Rosie snapped the towel before folding it into thirds.
“He won’t be here long.”
“Then you shouldn’t waste any time.”
“But…” Nola wasn’t sure how to put what she was feeling into words, but when Rosie gave her an expectant look, she tried. “It’s easy to tell myself I should just enjoy Ian’s company while he’s here, but that’s kind of like taking one bite of a cake when you know you have to throw the whole rest of the cake away.”
“Then you should savor the hell out of that one bite,” Rosie told her. “I bet that’s some pretty damn good cake, too, so you take that bite because one delicious mouthful sure beats having no cake at all. And now I’m going up to bed. You get on out there before he thinks you went home and goes back to his room.”
As Rosie predicted, Ian was on his way back from the empty dining room when Nola stepped out of the kitchen. The way his face lit up when he saw her sent a flood of emotions that were a lot more complicated than straight-up lust through her.
She hadn’t realized it until just this second, but she’d been waiting her entire life to have a man look at her like that, and she had to stop walking because the impact literally took her breath away.
“It’s empty and the liquor cabinet’s locked. I thought maybe you’d gone home already,” he said, slowly moving toward her.
“I was helping Rosie finish up and I thought everybody had already gone to bed, so I locked it early. I can unlock it if you want a drink.”
“I don’t really want a drink. I just wanted to…” He let the sentence trail off and when he shoved his hands in his pockets, she realized he was nervous. Somehow she just knew he’d been about to admit he just wanted to seeher, and she didn’t manage to get ahold of her facial expressions before a pleased smile made him smile in return.
“You said you’ve been running low on Christmas spirit,” she said. “How about you sit here in front of the Christmas tree and I’ll make us some hot cocoa.”
He glanced at the tree and for a long moment seemed to be lost in the twinkling lights—or having some kind of internal argument with himself—and then he gave her a sheepish grin. “I’d really love that if it’s not too much trouble. I promise I won’t keep you up past your bedtime tonight.”
He could keep her up past her bedtime anytime, but she didn’t tell him that. Instead she gestured toward the couch. “Get comfy. It’ll only take a few minutes.”
When she returned with two mugs of hot cocoa, she felt a pang of anxiety about where to sit. The coffee table was in front of the couch, but there was also an armchair at either end so guests or the family could sit and make conversation or play board games in a more comfortable setting than the dining room if they chose to. With any other guest, she’d sit in one of the armchairs.
But Ian wasn’t any other guest. After setting the mugs down side-by-side on the coffee table, she sat at the other end of the couch with her body turned toward his. After taking a sip of the cocoa, she tucked her feet under her.
“So you had a long day today,” she said, letting herself enjoy looking at Ian, and the way the twinkling of multi-colored lights reflected in the silver strands woven through his thick hair.
“It was a good day, though. We rode up around the big lake and the kids enjoyed it so much we kept stopping to take pictures, and they saw a moose, which is always cool.”
He told her stories from the day while they drank their hot cocoa, and Nola tried not to lose herself in the emotions curling through her as she listened to his low, deep voice.Thisis what she wanted. Every night for the rest of her life she wanted to curl up on this couch with this man and talk with each other before they went to bed.
But this wasn’t her house. It wasn’t her couch. Ian wasn’t her man and regardless of Rosie’s advice, it wouldn’t be a good idea for them to share a bed. This wasn’t her life and if she took a bite of this cake, she would spend the rest of her days longing for another slice and mourning the loss of the entire cake.
“I promised you I wouldn’t keep you up late tonight,” he said when his mug was empty. “So I guess I should head to my room.”
She didn’t want him to. He was right, of course. It hadn’t been easy to drag herself out of bed that morning and into the shower. She wasn’t twenty anymore, and it had been averylong day at the town hall. But spending time with him was worth the sleep deficit.
Before she could say anything, a floorboard creaked and they both looked over to see Maddie coming down the hallway toward the stairs.
“Sorry,” she whispered. “I really have to pee and the light’s on in the bathroom across the hall.”
She smiled at the young woman, even though the interruption scattered the courage she’d been mustering to ask him to stay a little while longer.
When Ian gave Nola a rueful smile, she knew their night was over, so she got up and took their cups to the kitchen to rinse out and set in the sink. Resisting the urge to splash cold water over her face, she returned to the living room to find him on his feet, staring at the Christmas tree lights.
Their gazes caught and he moved toward her, his mouth curving into a smile. He was going to kiss her goodnight, she thought. She tried to remember all the reasons it was a bad idea, but the only word that stuck in her mind wasfinally.
