“So what?”
He recoiled as if she’d struck him. “So what?How can you say that to me?”
“Your career speaks for itself, Will. What could you possibly have left to prove to anybody?”
“Idon’thave anything to prove. To anybody.” She winced because there was probably some subtext in that statement aimed at her. “I love playing this game, and I’m going to play it as long as I can. I’m not ready to retire because I’m simply not done yet.”
“Then go,” she said, amazed at how calm her voice sounded when she was shattering on the inside.
“Kristen, don’t do this. Please.”
“I spent my whole childhood waiting for scraps of attention from my own father and brother. I won’t do it anymore.”
“Scraps?” He stood, shaking his head. “That’s bullshit, Kristen. You’re not being fair.”
“It’s how I feel.”
“You always knew I was going back to Baltimore,” he said as she stood, not wanting him looming over her. “I never gave you any reason to believe I wouldn’t.”
“I…sometimes things change.” She couldn’t bring herself to admit she’d fallen in love with him and had hoped he would love her enough to choose her.
“What hasn’t changed is that I’ve worked for months to rehab my shoulder so I could get back out on the ice. I didn’t see this coming, and itdoeschange things. But not enough that I’ll just turn my back on my team and my career like that.”
“Then nothing really changed at all.” She was going to break down soon. She could feel it building in her, like the tide pulling away before the tsunami crashed over her. And she didn’t want him to be here when the big wave hit. “Go, Will. Don’t make it harder.”
His jaw flexed, and his hands were clenched, but after a few excruciating seconds, he exhaled slowly. “We’re not going to get anywhere like this. I have to go, Kristen. I can’tnotgo back. But we’re not done.”
Her throat had tightened beyond the ability for her to speak, so she watched him in silence as he put his coat and boots on and yanked open her door. But he turned back a final time, giving her a long look filled with raw emotion. “We arenotdone.”
As soon as the door closed behind him, she sank to the couch and flopped over on her side, sobs wracking her body. It didn’t matter what he said, because he was still leaving.
And they were done.
12
Will woke up in his own bed, and his first thought was of Kristen. His last thought as he fell asleep was of Kristen. And he’d thought about her almost every minute between. Waking up after almost no sleep in his hotel room. The plane ride home. Walking into his condo.
He’d been haunted by her—by the pain that was all he could feel right now. He’d sent her several text messages and left her two voicemails. She hadn’t responded, which only cut deeper.
It was tempting to believe he hadn’t meant anything to her after all, but he knew that would be a lie. She was in love with him. She just couldn’t get past the resentments of her childhood and the damage Lamont Burke had done.
Today, he was rejoining his team. A full practice. A final check-in for his shoulder. Tomorrow, a home game. He was back.
And it felt empty.Hefelt empty.
A few hours later, he sat on the bench and, after rehydrating, watched the second line do their thing. Physically, he was in damn good shape. His shoulder was good, and the time in Boston had gotten his legs back under him. There was no reason he wouldn’t be 100 percent for tomorrow’s game.
Mitchell, who’d been the left wing to his right wing for several years, sat next to him. “You’re playing pretty hard for a practice. Got something to prove?”
What he had was a lot of emotional turmoil he didn’t know what to do with, but he shouldn’t be bringing it out on the ice with him. Definitely not with his teammates, but not with their opponents tomorrow, either. The last thing he wanted to do was make sloppy mistakes or lose his shit and accidentally hurt somebody.
“Just glad to be back,” he said, since Mitchell was his teammate, not his therapist.
“How are things going with Burke’s sister?” Mitchell shook his head and didn’t wait for an answer. “Didnotsee that one coming, man. Can’t lie.”
“I don’t know,” he lied, because he didn’t want to get into it today. Or ever, really, though at some point it would have to be said, and it would have to be before Erik Burke rolled into town. But not today. “I’m not sure it’ll survive the distance.”
“That’s tough, man. Hopefully Burke will be a professional about it and leave that shit off the ice, where it belongs.”
