And I blew it.
I was going to leave Penny home, but she’d perked up when she heard Cara’s name. And by the time I’m done talking to my mom, she’s retrieved her harness, dropping it at my feet. She turns her face up to me, her expression breaking my heart.
After putting the harness on her and grabbing her leash, I pick her up. I don’t know how this night will go, but Penny will never forgive me if I don’t take her, so I carry her toward the door.
“Hayden?” When I stop and turn back to Colleen, she gives me a shaky smile. “Don’t just say what you have to in order to smooth things over. Say what you need to say, because the Reilly and Gamble families both know that on any random day, you may run out of somedays to tell a person what you needed to say.”
I’m such a wreck, it takes me two tries to clip Penny into her car seat. She gives me an impatient look, sighing like only she can, but she forgives me when I scratch under her chin and tell her we’re going to find Cara.
That’s easier said than done, though, because her car isn’t in the driveway. And even though it’s still light out, the interior of the house is so dim, I’d expect lights to be on.
She’s not home.
I want to drive around Sumac Falls until I find her. Gin’s house. Mel’s house. The diner. Mel’s parents. Anywhere I can think of she might be.
But I’m not going to ambush her in front of other people. And I don’t want to go home in defeat. Colleen will have questions, and Penny will be disappointed. Since I have her leash, I decide I’ll walk Penny down to the rock by the river and back, and then try again.
We find Cara sitting on the rock, her knees drawn up and her arms wrapped around them, as she stares at the slow-moving water. Everything about her body language screams sadness, and my heart breaks all over again.
Penny is beside herself with joy, though, and I unclip the leash. I fumble with it, and she gives a sharp bark of annoyance, catching Cara’s attention.
She doesn’t look at me, but her face lights up as Penny sprints to her. I think it’s the fastest I’ve ever seen my dog move, and fear jolts through me as I imagine her not being able to stop and going right off the edge of the rock, forcing me to dive into the river—cell phone, key fob, shoes and all. I hold my breath until she’s safe in Cara’s arms.
I hang back for a few minutes, letting them enjoy their reunion, before taking a seat next to her on the rock. Penny makes herself comfortable on Cara’s lap, her back turned to me.
“I’m sorry.” I should probably specify what I’m sorry about, but there’s so much. And I’m sorry for all of it.
“You don’t have to be sorry. We both knew what we were getting into. I just wish you’d been totally honest about your motivation from the start and we could avoided all of this.” Her mouth twists. “But I guess that was the point. You didn’t want to avoid this, and you got what you wanted.”
“I did not want to hurt you. I always wanted you to know I showed up.” She stills, and I want to take her hand, but I can’t risk her pulling it away from me. “The night of the homecoming dance. I was there when I said I would be, but your dad wasn’t really all that happy to see me.”
“But we knew he wouldn’t be, even though I told my parents you were coming. That wasn’t going to stop me from going.”
“You weren’t ready when I got there.”
“No, because my mom said my hair wasn’t right in the back. I couldn’t see it but she said she had to fix it. I knew I’d be a few minutes late, but I…I wanted to look perfect for you.”
Cara has always looked perfect to me. I want to tell her that, but her expression is getting darker by the second, and I’m not sure now is the time.
“I can’t believe you,” she says, the words an angry blast. “Even if my dad was being a jerk, I wasn’t worth waiting for?”
Now that I can’t let stand. “Don’t you ever say that again, Cara Gamble. Not to me. You were definitely worth waiting for.”
Her face is flushed with anger already, but the pink of her cheeks deepens. “And yet you didn’t.”
I have to tell her what happened on homecoming night, even though I never wanted her to know. One, because I didn’t want to say anything against her dad. But there was also my pride. What Marcus Gamble said to me that night hurt, and I’m not one to expose my wounds.
The idea of her believing I didn’t think she was worth waiting for hurts even more, though.
“I would have waited hours for you, Cara. But Marcus wasn’t having it. I would have stuck it out, even if I had to stand on the sidewalk on the other side of your gate. But he didn’t just want me to not take you to homecoming—he didn’t want me to ever speak to you again.” I pause, taking a deep breath to keep so many years of anger from choking off my words. “When calling me names and telling me all the ways I was too filthy to even look in your direction didn’t work, he told me if I ever spoke to you again, he and his buddy Frank would plant a distribution amount of drugs in Aaron’s car and then bust him during a traffic stop.”
Marcus’s buddy Frank was the chief of police at the time, and they both hated my family. And Frank had the power to destroy my brother’s life.
I watch her face as some of the anger seeps out of her expression, leaving behind confusion. Fighting the urge to keep explaining, I stay silent and let her process what I told her.
“No,” Cara says, and I expected this. Nobody wants to believe a loved one would sink that low. “My dad wouldn’t threaten your little brother’s future just to keep you away from me.”
“He started by threatening me, but I told him I wasn’t leaving until I talked to you.”
