Rourke shrugged. “Maybe I wanted to feel like I was making a difference.”
“When did you have the time? Didn’t you work for Sloan?”
“Yeah. I studied on the side.” Rourke pressed another kiss against Forrest’s lips because they were right there and he couldn’t resist. His attraction to Forrest was a ticking time bomb, ready to explode, but in that moment, he didn’t care. Someone had hurt Forrest and his instinct to kill hovered beneath the surface of his skin. He needed something to bring him back to reality so he didn’t go down to that basement and rip Montage apart. “Killing people and studying environmental science. Quite the life, huh?”
“So you did kill people?”
Rourke tugged Forrest and they lay on the bed on their backs. He drew Forrest against his side and inhaled the man beside him. “Yes, I did. A lot of people.”
“Can you tell me details?”
“No.”
Forrest chewed on his bottom lip. “Oh.”
“It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s that I can’t. I need you to understand there’s more to the Killough Company than even you know. Sloan operates a multibillion-dollar company that runs off illegal profits. It’s a layered enterprise that has a need to know basis.” Rourke looked at him. “If I could tell who I killed and why, I would, but I care too deeply for you. My past has been buried for a reason and I… I crave to be that person again sometimes. I enjoyed taking lives.”
Forrest’s lips parted in surprise.
“But I chose my sanity over my bloodthirst. Some people are born to be contract killers or hitmen, but that side of who I am scares me.” He stroked Forrest’s cheekbone. “I enjoyed hurting Montague, Forrest, and I would have beaten him to death if they hadn’t pulled me away. He hurt you, and I would have killed him for it. These are my demons and they terrify me.”
“I like you, Rourke.” Forrest kissed his chin and then his lips. “Demons and all.”
Rourke sighed. “I should have pushed you harder to find out where you got those bruises.”
“It’s done. He’s being dealt with.”
“Soon he will be.” And how Rourke wished to be down in the basement right now, his fists doing the talking for him. That would have to wait until he knew Forrest was truly safe.
“I love you for that.” Forrest looked embarrassed as soon as he said made the statement. His cheeks flushed and he grinned in a silly way that didn’t seem very Forrest-like.
Rourke knew what he should have said in that moment.We can’t do this, Forrest. Easy, yet so hard. For the first time in his life, Rourke didn’t know what to do. He stared at Forrest, with his beautiful blond hair and vibrant green eyes. Even with the bruises marring his pretty face, he had to be the most beautiful person Rourke had ever seen. His looks were the reason Forrest was the highest earner in the Virtue, everybody wanted a piece of him and his lovable personality.
“Forrest….” Rourke settled a hand on Forrest’s hip and searched for the words to say. “I really care about you.”
Forrest’s smile blinded him. “You do?”
“You’re not just a possession to me like you think you are.” Rourke tugged Forrest closer and laid a kiss on his bruised jaw.
“I like this. Us talking about things.”
“Me too,” Rourke said gently.
All his attempts to escape Forrest’s gravitational force field had failed because he couldn’t escape from Forrest. Rourke wanted a piece of his perfection and kindness. He could see them being happy together in the future—a dangerous thought. Forrest was still a contracted sex worker and Rourke was still his boss. No one would accept the highest earning professional leaving the Virtue, especially not Conall or Sloan. It didn’t matter that Forrest was Conall’s friend, Killough Company’s profits came first. They were a business after all, but Rourke couldn’t help but forget about that when it came to Forrest. Even when Forrest came to the end of his contract, the company would offer him benefits he wouldn’t be able to say no to.
“Rourke, do you think we could be something?” Forrest stared at him from beneath hooded eyelids. The desperation in his gaze made Rourke’s heart thump against his ribcage until it hurt. He wanted to sayyesand give Forrest the world, but he knew how this went. Happy endings didn’t exist for guys like them and were nothing more than a fairytale, or a blockbuster movie.
“No.” Rourke laid a kiss on his forehead. “Baby, I wish I could say yes, but you’re the highest earner in this joint, and you have a contract with the Killough Company.”
“So that’s it? We continue to ignore how much we want each other because of them?”
“Yes, because that’s all we can do.”
“That’s bullshit, and you know it,” Forrest whispered.
“Maybe. This is why I didn’t want to start anything with you, Forrest,” Rourke said. “You make me want things we can’t have.”
Forrest licked his lips and touched Rourke’s chest. He stroked his fingers in a dip between Rourke’s pecs. “We could run away together?”
