One of the boys who’d come in earlier choked on his drink and coughed up his Coke, the liquid splashing from his mouth to the floor. He gave us a wide-eyed look, and Loki winked at him.
“It’s the best kind of joystick. I play with it on expert level.”
The boy gave us a wobbly smile, but the attendant came storming over, waving his hands at the soda on the floor with some light curses about human decency.
I shook my head and slid my hand into Loki’s, guiding him toward the front door and out onto Main Street. “You’re a troublemaker.”
“Me? Never.” He arched the back of his hands under his chin and tilted his head, as though I would believe he was the innocent type. He wasn’t.
I laughed and kissed him full on the mouth, unconcerned by who could be watching. Teenage Tobias Langley cared. I didn’t. Even though I let Loki call me by my real name, I wasn’t that boy anymore. I was Thor, vice president of the Norse Lords MC.
“Come on.” I slapped him on the ass and smirked when a half gasp, half whimper left his mouth. Moving to the Harley, I grabbed my helmet and slammed it on my head again. Like the good boy he really was, Loki copied me on his bike, and soon we were riding out onto the streets again. I took a different way back to the motel on purpose, heading up a steep incline and around a sharp corner until I came tothe spotit happened.
The guardrail that curved with the road had been fixed before I left Wittstock, the patched steel looking newer than the older, rusted part. It was a reminder for the locals. Do you want to end up like poor Andy Marsh or Morgan Glass? Dead or paraplegic? Don’t drink and drive.
I stopped the bike on a sliver of grass far enough away from the road that no one would turn the corner and hit it, and Loki stopped beside me. He frowned but slid off his bike when I did and took off his helmet. He didn’t ask where we were, following me back up the incline and to the shiny section of the guardrail.
I stopped, gripping the cold metal, and stared down over the edge.
A carswooshedby us close enough that the rush of wind caused me to stumble slightly. They’d obviously been going too fast, but people did that a lot around here. I’d done it, too, eighteen years ago, and I’d seen the consequences. I’d never forget what could happen.
Loki pressed himself in close to me, his shoulder bumping mine as he stared over into the ravine below. The trees we’d flattened had regrown, and it was lush and green and beautiful. Not a place where a teen had died and another lost the use of his legs.
“Is that where it happened?”
I nodded, an ache starting in my chest. Pointing down below, I said, “That’s where the car landed on its roof. I think I was knocked out for a little while. I’m not sure how long. When I came to, I reached for Andy, and he wasn’t in the passenger seat.”
I stepped over the guardrail and carefully walked down the steep hill. Loki came right behind me as we stopped on some level grass below a tall pine tree. I dug the toe of my boot into the dirt, contemplative as I stared down at the ground. Raising my head, I pointed in front of us.
“That’s where I found Andy, around that area. He’d been ejected from the car. He hadn’t been wearing his damn belt. I remember crawling out of the car and dragging myself over to his body, begging him to wake up.” I thought I’d told Loki something similar yesterday, but the memories of what happened that night rolled through my head like a movie, over and over again. “He didn’t. I don’t know how long it took someone to get here. I just remember flashing lights, screaming. Then I was at the police station, being officially charged. After they did all their paperwork, my parents took me to the hospital. I should have gone earlier, but I refused the ambulance. I just wanted to get the police paperwork out of the way. Had a mild concussion because I hit my head on the steering wheel.” I tapped my forehead and the light scar there. “That’s where I got this.”
Loki pressed his hands to the side of my temple, the pad of his thumb tracing the mark above my brow. “I like this scar. It’s who you are, Thor.”
“I know that now. In a way.” I sighed into his touch and closed my eyes. “I’m trying to forgive myself, butfuck, it’s hard. I’m Thor, vice president of the fucking Norse Lords. I’m not supposed to feel like this.”
“Feel like this or feel at all?” Loki took a step back, his mouth pursed. “You’re human,Tobias. Thor, like the god, is a myth. A legend. Even the god of thunder had moments when he realized he’d made mistakes. You can be Thor to our enemies, but to our brothers, tome, you need to be your true self. That’s what a club is about. We’re family.”
“I know.” It was harder to accept that than it should have been.
“Tell me something,” Loki whispered, his voice music in the surrounding nature. The wind whistled through the trees, and he shivered. “What do you know about Modi or Odin or Hoor or Fenrir or Tyr or any of those other fuckers? You know their weaknesses, don’t you? You know what makes them tick, what they have problems with, and what they struggle against. You know about Tyr’s alcoholism, and Hati’s stalker ex-girlfriend. You know Vor had an abortion when she was raped at seventeen. Sigyn basically raised her brothers after their mom died. You were there when Bor lost his mind after that Murphy guy killed his real brother, and that Hel’s parents abandoned her when she admitted to them she was bisexual. Youknowall of our demons, Tobias. Why can’t we know yours? Why can’t we be the support you need like you are to us? We’re all broken in our own way. That’s why Odin took us in. He likes diamonds with scratches.”
I groaned, then laughed at his analogy, even if he wasn’t wrong. He always knew the right things to say and that both scared me and made me happy. He smiled when I opened my arms, and he was fast to snuggle against my chest. I kissed his forehead and pressed my mouth against his warm flesh, leaving it there.
“You are impossible,” I whispered against his skin.
“That’s why you like me,” he said in a singsong tone. “I’m hot, charming, and impossible.”
“You also have a nice ass.”
He poked my chest. “That reminds me, you promised me I could play with your joystick. Maybe you can pop it into my console.”
I shook my head, staring skyward. He was definitely impossible, in all the right ways.
