Zac groaned inwardly. Callum rarely let anything go before he was ready to. Zac didn’t want to ruin any potential relationship between Callum and Melody, so he needed to think quickly to assuage his friend’s concerns. When Zac hesitated, Callum pointed at him.
‘I know. You’re finding it harder being back on the island full-time than you expected, aren’t you?’
Relieved to be given a reason he could use, Zac shrugged. ‘A bit, maybe.’
Callum leant forward. ‘Listen, mate. I know this is all very new for you, but we’ve had this discussion before.’
Zac knew where this conversation was going and, aware he was about to get one of Callum’s friendly lectures, picked up his burrito and took a bite. He needed food if he was to listen and not react.
‘Look, I know you never expected your folks to ever want to leave the farm, but you have to admit ever since you andJazz ended things after she lost the baby, you’ve found ways to distance yourself from the island as much as possible.’
Not just from the island, Zac mused, aware he had also not allowed himself to become too emotionally involved with any other woman he’d dated since the devastation of his and Jazz’s relationship ending so painfully.
‘I’ve been travelling for work,’ Zac argued, aware there was some truth in what Callum was saying.
‘I know that, but you’ve also spent as little time here as possible,’ Callum argued. ‘Speaking as someone who also travels for jobs, I don’t mean to criticise you, Zac. But even though this farm business is unexpected for both you and Lettie, I think that in your case it’s probably the best thing that could have happened.’
Zac swallowed his food. ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ he asked, irritated. ‘Look, I admit I felt more comfortable being away knowing I had little chance of bumping into Jazz, but you know that’s all in the past now.’ He thought back to seeing her and the chap she had married when they returned to the island on their honeymoon the previous year. ‘We chatted and put all our issues to rest.’
‘So you’ve said, which is why I don’t understand your reluctance to spend more time with her after that, Zac.’
He had a point. ‘I can see why you’d be confused.’
Callum scowled. ‘You must admit you’ve been hard to pin down since your split though and that you’ve avoided most opportunities to come back to Jersey.’
Callum was right. He knew he was. ‘It’s true.’
He had thought himself in love with Jazz and although he had been shocked about the pregnancy, Zac had quickly believed himself ready to marry her. He closed his eyes, hating to have to think about that period of his life. It had put him off becoming deeply involved with another woman.
He thought of Melody. He had known her for barely a couple of weeks but already his feelings were stronger for her than they had ever been for Jazz. Was it his fear of being hurt again that was stopping him from being honest about his feelings for her?
He realised Callum was still speaking. ‘Sorry, I missed that.’
Callum sighed heavily. ‘I was saying that it’s time you set down roots here.’
‘Here?’
‘Or somewhere. Don’t you think?’
Zac ate the last mouthful of his food to give himself time to think. Callum was right. He could be based here and still go on tour with artists when the need arose. ‘I suppose you’re right. My sister does need my support now our parents have stepped back from the farm business.’
‘I’m pleased.’
Zac was at a loss as to why it meant so much to his friend. ‘Why does it bother you so much?’
Callum stared at him for a moment. ‘Because it was painful to see you shut down your emotions when Jazz lost the baby and the pair of you drifted apart shortly afterwards. Each time I’ve met up with you I’ve wondered how much it still affected you.’
He had no idea Callum had been so concerned about him. ‘Really? It bothered you that much?’
Callum looked hurt by his disbelief.
‘Sorry, I didn’t mean that to come out how it did,’ Zac said, not wanting to offend him. ‘You never said anything though.’
‘Of course I didn’t. Hurt like that can be difficult to come to terms with, especially when it happens to someone young.’ He ate a mouthful of food and swallowed. ‘I mean, you were what? Eighteen?’
‘Nineteen,’ Zac said.
‘I hoped you knew I was there for you if you needed to talk to me, but you never did so I presumed you were dealing with it in your own way.’
