Chapter Thirty-Nine
Jenny
Aspen snuggles between us as we settle in to watch a movie before bed. Raffe yawns, and I feel bad; he’s been up all night. “You don’t have to stay here. I’ll be fine,” I whisper.
He shakes his head. “I’m good.”
One thing I’m quickly learning is that the Skulls are stubborn.
Aspen smiles at me. “Look, Nana, this is the spooky part.”
“When was the last time you watched a movie?” Jackson asks, sitting on the couch with Willow behind us.
“Longer than you’ve been alive.”
“That’s just fucking crazy,” he replies.
“Shh,” Aspen says, covering her mouth with her finger. It makes all of us chuckle. This girl is serious about her movie.
Raffe lays his arm above Aspen’s head and begins to scratch his nails lightly over my scalp. His eyes meet mine, and we exchange smiles. This is nice. Again, better than anything I imagined.
Garfield is wedged against Aspen’s side. She has one arm around him, the other around her babydoll. I think she’s officially adopted both. After spending the day with her here on the farm, I realize she has a special connection to animals. Actually, the girl loves everything and is afraid of very little. Willow and Jackson are going to have their hands full someday.
When the movie ends and Aspen is fast asleep, Willow and Jackson sneak up to bed.
“Goodnight, Jenny,” Raffe says quietly, and I wonder how he’s still awake. They were at my house so late, and then …
“Goodnight, Raffe.” I turn away from him and Aspen. The day is finally catching up to me, and my mind is beginning to race.
I’m stuck here. I can never go home. It’s gone. It’s all gone.
I don’t know why I told Jesse I could do this, because I can’t. At some point I’m going to have to leave Jackson’s house. I can’t stay here forever. They have Aspen and another baby on the way. There’s no room, and even if there was, I don’t want to invade their home.
Oh my god. I agreed to stay at the warehouse. What was I thinking!
Suddenly, Raffe is in my face as he slides under my blanket. “Don’t think about it right now,” he whispers, pulling me close.
I begin to tremble in his arms, and no matter how hard I try to control it, I can’t. “I tried so hard to keep my composure all day for Jackson, but I’m so scared. I don’t know why I let her do it.” My tears come hard and fast, but he holds me strong.
“So, it was Jesse. You let her set your house on fire?”
I nod. “I didn’t know fire would be involved, but I knew she was going to do something drastic. Why did I do that? Why?” My fears rise to the surface with the finality of my situation. Jesse made sure I could never go back.
“You did it for us,” he whispers. “You did it for Jackson, and Aspen, and your mother.” The calm and steady rumble of hisvoice makes me feel a tiny bit better. “And Brody, and Jack, and Lily …” he continues to ramble off names, but I quit listening after Lily.
She still hasn’t come to see me. I’m sure she’s angry at me for leaving her alone in that house of horrors with her father and Benjamin. I shiver against Raffe, and he hugs me tighter.
“I think I’ve made a mistake. Maybe I should go somewhere else.”
“Where else would you go?”
“I could stay at John’s. He and his wife said they’d take me in.”
“Jenny, I’m not letting you go.” His fingers trail over my face lightly. “I’m never letting you go again.”
“I don’t think I can stay at the warehouse,” I tell him honestly.
“I’ll be there too. Right across the hall,” he says.
